A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone.I am in love with a guy older than me(10 years). I am about to turn 18 in March. Something really weird happened yesterday and I hope y'all would be able to help me out a bit here.Since our families are close together,he called up my mom generally to ask after her health etc.i havent been well for a few days,and he asked my mom personaly if i was better..without waiting for an answer,he said "i really need to talk to here, i am going crazy here.." and mom told me she noticed desperation in his voice..he didnt give me a call.so,i thought why shouldnt i?so i called him up and heard the strain in his voice.he asked me extensively what had happened to me and now was i better .here i noticed some disturbance and i asked him was he out somewhere.very hesitantly he answered "ye-es,i am at my girlfriend's place".i obviously got very heated up but politely said that it was fine and we'll talk later.he said ok,and then i kept the phone down.a little info here "he isnt in love with this girl..what is he doing at her place anyways?I dont want to sound like a bad girl, but i dont like sharing him.so i think that i should see how he responds to this.. I am not going to contact him for a while now and see how much it matters to him.He is a great guy and I really love him, but I dont want to be the other girl in his life.. which I am technically not, since I dont know how he feels about me except that he said i was his "family"help plzzz.. am in quite confusionthx Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Rae1031 +, writes (31 January 2009):
I know that you weren't getting at that and even though your posting addresses you current situation, it does not really describe the extent of your relationship with him so it is hard to tell if he would love you or not. I am only saying that out of the info you did give, something just don't seem right. Again, I could be way off, I am not sure, but I have been in dangerous obsessive situtations before and they all seemed to start with the other person trying to get on my familys good side and even get into a relationship with them where they can confide in them to find out about me. This is planned in advance, sometimes even before the relationsip begins. They do this because they know if you begin to feel suffercated or change your mind, you will probably not tell your family, just in case you want to change you mind back again one day. If they have gotten in good with your family ahead of time and you refuse to see them, then they can still monitor your activities via your family. Outside of that, I have no clue if he loves you or not. But if he is with somebody that he is not making any moves to break up with and yet telling you that he does not love her, that should give you a hint as too how deep his loyalty and honesty runs. Good Luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni didnt think he was obsessing over me at all.just wondering if he loves me or not.
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A
female
reader, Rae1031 +, writes (31 January 2009):
Well it clearly sounds like he has some kind of thing for you, but I would actually be concerned about what that thing is. It seems like he is being a really nice and polite guy if he is calling your mom to inquire about her health. I know you said your were close, but still most 28 year old guys don't go out of their way to call up their friends mothers and ask stuff like this. They would usually only think to ask if they were stopping by the house or run into them face to face. Obviously his call was to find out about you and friend or not, if he is going to try to get to you through your mother and she actually heard despriation in his voice, I would be a little bit worried. Especially if he is telling you that he does not love his girlfriend, but is still hanging over her house. I don't get the vibe that he is simply lying to you or using you, if that was the case he would not have viewed you as being important enough to call your mom to find out about you. It sounds more to me almost as if, his girlfriend is his girlfriend and you are his obsession. Yes, you should step back and monitor this. If it is just a miscommunication, it will clear itself up. If he takes anymore desperate mesures to get to you or find out information about you through your family or friends be conserned and ask them not to give him any further info about you. I could be wrong, but if I am not this could get very dangerous for you, be careful.
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