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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: ok i'll keep this short. im 14 in high school, been quite scared of relationships since.. a long time i can't remember(always refused anyone who asked which happened at least a couple times). anyway, i want to change, but i'm really shy of girls i like/find attractive. i get depressed often from this. everybody knows me as a geek/nerd and i dont have many friends/not very good at making friends either which dont help. any advice or am i doomed to be forever alone?-thanks in advance, andy-rew
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female
reader, Abigail.s +, writes (28 December 2006):
 School can be a hard place to be in. People there can be really nasty about one thing or another. Trying to be big and popular does not always pay off. People take advantage of others because they are weaker then them and are an easy target. Next time they say it just turn around and say look i dont care or something. Maybee they might lay off. To be confident takes time, you need to feel comfortable with yourself and how you look. Just be yourself you should not change for anybody so if people think your nerdy dont try and change. You cant be something that your not and girls will like you by who you are and not your appearance or and act of somebody else. Many people in schools are not as it seems and even popular kids have weaknesses and diffuculites but people do not point them out or pick at them. Everyone has things to be embarrased about and people at school should not judge you because they obously do not know you if they class you as a geek. A geek is just a hurtfull word to put people down because they care about education or other things rather than popularity or attention. So shown them that this does not affect you. You will not be alone forever even though you might think this. It just takes time4 and your confidence will grow and you may find yourself in a relationship. A true relationship is based on trust, loyalty and repect and most improtantly to like the person you are with. It is not based on if you look nerdy. If girls dont wont to be around you for that reason then they are not worth fighting for. You will find somebody who you like and they like you... you just have to find them
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2006): hey andy, dont really know how much my advice is worth but.... here goes. i kinda went through the same as you in high school, boys laughed at me, i wasnt pretty or funny or cool. as you grow older (and im only 22) i became more confidant. your at "that age" where its hard to get to know the opposite sex. for what its worth i always loved boys who made me laugh, try and find some confidance. dont worry so much about the reaction, if youre a "nerd" anyway, who cares what they say, what have you got to lose? just give it a try! if all else fails, try to change your image, its amazing what you can do with cloths and a hair cut, take care of the way you look, try not to act so nervous, pretend you dont care about anything and get to know girls. even the ones you dont like. you can learn from them!!
anyway, best of luck. dont worry so much about it, getting rejected isnt the end of the world and if youve already had offers, you cant be as nerdy as you think. its a confidance thing, work on it!!
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