A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I need some urgent advice.This is quite long and I appreciate you taking the time to read.I am a 24 year old female and there is a guy I work with whom we have always flirted with each other, he is always very suggestive, we have kissed once, quite full on for a first kiss I thought, unfortunately we kissed at work (which was wrong). Today he asked me if I was working late tomorrow because he has also been asked to stay late but he says he wont bother if I am not staying late, I am getting the impression he wants a repeat performance possibly more than last time (as to his facial expressions and the way he said it and just from past conversations). I really like him, I always have but he has said in the past that he just wants fun nothing serious, I don't want to be just a booty call, what should I do, should I suggest that if we both work late and then we can go out afterwards, which might put him off, I really am not sure how to reply to him, he has asked me to text him tonight, as I said I really like him and the other thing I suppose I should mention is that I have never had a boyfriend and he was the first person I have kissed and I have never done anything else if you get what I am saying, so I am nervous around him, I want to stay late and just see what happens but then I am not sure, any advice welcome, and I know that if I do stay late I don't have to sleep with him we could just make out again, I thnk.Again, thank you for reading.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (20 April 2009):
 There was a similar post a couple of weeks back and I think it may have been you who posted for advice then. Anyway, I think I advised back then that this guy may just use you for sex. If you are not happy with that arrangement, then don't let him use you and tell him to back off if he tries anything over the photocopier. If he wanted you as his girlfriend then he would ask you out for a date and spend time getting to know you outside work. As things stand, he thinks he has got to first base in the kiss and wants to take the game to its full conclusion without putting much effort in - he wants you when he is getting paid overtime at the same time. If you like your job then you won't get into anything with him inside work as the gossip will get around. A friend of mine had a thing with a senior colleague a couple of years back and when it all went wrong she had to find another job as she couldn't deal with the canteen gossip and awkward conversations with her ex.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2009): Does he know that you want to start dating or does he think you want a bit of fun too? He's said he wants fun, so ask him if he still wants that or something more. Ask him if he wants to meet up or go out and if he sounds uninterested then clearly he isn't serious. Don't lose your virginity to someone who doesn't care about you and is just wanting a bit of fun...Unless of course, you want that?
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