A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hello. I have a friend i met this year at uni. She is fun and likes talking a lot. We share a lot in common like religion(we go to the same church), some life values our drive for education and success. I like her but at times she wants to argue with me about everything. Ive been listening to our conversations ive realised that she lies a lot or say serious things about other people then the next day when i ask her about it she talks to me like im stupid and just formulated the news by myself. I usually talk to her when its just the two of us if she said something that i did not understand. I used to get higher marks than her. She failed one module first semester now she has improved this term but im still doing very well. Everyday she argues me for no reason ever since she started getting better school results. She would argue with me about some girl's dress whether it looks good on her or not. Its like she waits for me to say yes so she could say no; vice versa. She is not the only friend i have, i communicate very well with other friends except her. I once told her about my mom when we were not in good terms and she made fun of my mom when i asked her e.g what is a significant figure? she said "your mom" . I dont like the way she acts, its like she doesnt expect me to be smart. We stay next to each other so no way ive to see her everyday. We had a huge argument before because i told her that she was cramming instead of learning. She kept it in herself for a week then took it out angrily that even when i was apologising to her i was talking nonsense. She never wanted to listen to my side of the story so it upset me we ended up not talking for some weeks until i went to her and told her we can do so much better than this. People see us as best friends some think we are twins(they say we look alike or match) but i feel like she secretly hates me. I share my food with her when she dont have some even when she has. What should i do? I dont feel comfortable around her anymore because she is always in a mood to tell me that im wrong and she is right. Sometimes i feel like not talking to her. What can i do?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 September 2015):
 I think the fact that you FEEL she hates you says a lot. Maybe more about you than her. Because WHO would want to hang out with a person they think hate them?
Sounds like she is very competitive and right now thinking she needs to "win" everything with you. Like an argument. She uses it to boost her ego. Some people like to debate EVERYTHING - they find it stimulating - but it can FEEL like they are trying to argue. It's hard to say if she is trying to debate you or argue with you.
I would just taper off the friendship a bit, back off and spend time with less complicated and augmentative people - she sounds negative and stressful to be around. I would distance myself from her. Be polite and say hi when you see her bu avoid these argument etc. with her. If she tries to pull you into an argument, tell her I'm in no mood to debate with you.
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (3 September 2015):
 You could start to involve yourself more and more with your other friends. if she ask why tell her that you are tired of you and her arguing over everything little thing and she is making it difficult for you to want to be around her all the time. if she can't agree to disagree and leave it at that then maybe its time to move beyond the friendship. You know it will probably be you at fault in her eyes so probably best to do like i suggest she does and that is agree to disagree and leave it at that.
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