A
male
age
41-50,
*ardamu
writes:Well, I don't know exactly where to start. First thing you may need to know is that I'm French, even though I live in England, and have always been attracted to foreign girls.I needed to brush up on my rusty German because I had a job interview coming where it would be tested and so I put an ad on the Internet and that German girl replied. She had experience in tutoring and didn't charge too much so it seemed to be all right and I went for it.As we live in quite opposite parts of town, we agreed to meet in a coffee shop in the city centre and she gave me 3 or 4 lessons there before the interview. She also told me that she had only moved into the town where I live a month earlier.She's in her mid/late twenties and quite pretty. But I didn't think about that much until recently as I was focused on my job interview.Now that I've passed the first round of these job interviews, I have a second one where I'm asked to write in German this time, which is a little bit more tricky. So, I texted her and she gave me a couple of other lessons last week end.The thing is that my job interview isn't before 2 weeks. So, this time I was much more relaxed and really noticed how pretty she was. As it was a beautiful day, she was wearing a nice low cut dress and I had a hard time trying not to stare at her breasts. The day after, I didn't recognise her while I was waiting for her in the street. She'd dyed her hair red which made her even prettier.We started going through the piece of writing I'd done (a half made up story about my last holiday in Paris where I pretend that I went to visit Le Louvre museum while having lived there for 12 years, I mostly hung out with my mates) and she was asking me what my favourite painting in Le Louvre was. I laughed and told her that "old" paintings that you get to see in Le Louvre were not exactly my cup of tea. Then, she asked me what kind of art my cup of tea was. "Picasso !" I answered and this is indeed true. And she was like: "really ? me too ! my dad must have about 50 books about Picasso" and I started telling her about the Picasso museum in Paris.And that was the funny thing that last time she gave me a lesson. She started asking me more personal questions. She still asks them in German which somehow limits the precision of my answers. She asked me for instance why I'd come to live in England in the first place and if I liked it here, which I'm sure I won't be asked at my interview.An unwritten rule is that we're allowed to speak a little bit of English at the beginning and at the end of the lesson. So, at the end of the lesson, I asked her why she'd moved from Manchester to come to my town.I was afraid she would answer: "because my boyfriend lives here" or something like that but she told me it was because she'd found a better job here.Then, I joked about her not missing the football (Manchester has a great football team) but she told me she didn't. And we started discussing the obsession the English have with football. I was reading a funny novel that deals with it and told her about it and she had read it too as well as other novels by the same author which is one of my favourite authors.After this lesson, I started feeling differently about her. I recognised what I think are the symptoms. Happiness and helplessness at the same time. I think I'm in love.But well, the problem is that she's my tutor and a very good one. I don't want to ask her out and make things awkward. If I get the job, I need to speak and write very good German by September and even though she says I'm a fast learner, I'd like to keep studying with her this summer.I'm just getting over a very bad long distance relationship with an English girl. She managed to dump me 3 times in a little more than 6 months.If I'm successful at my job interview, I may be sent far away from where I live now. So, I'm wondering: is it worth blowing my chances of landing the job I've always wanted in the hope of a summer romance ? A summer romance is how my last relationship started and, if I want to be honest, should have stopped.I need to see her because I need to work with her on that piece of writing I've done to improve it but am posponing it as much as I can. The truth is that I'm scared of saying stupid things. For instance to tell her that I love her new hair colour (which is true) and so on...Having been a French private tutor myself to Englishwomen, I also know that the "tutor factor" and the "foreign factor" is a deadly combination.What do you think I should do ?
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male
reader, bardamu +, writes (28 May 2009):
bardamu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionShe just texted to say she was sick... :-(
A
male
reader, bardamu +, writes (28 May 2009):
bardamu is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, I'm seeing her again this afternoon. I'll see how it goes. Maybe I'll be past the crush stage. I feel so stupid, like a schoolboy who has a crush on his teacher ! And the worst thing is that she's younger than me !
To put the record straight, I'm not exactly attracted to long distance relationships. The one I had with that English girl was the only one I had and it hurt like hell. When I was away, she would be like: "oh, I love you so much" then things would be great for a couple of days when I would see her and then she would act like if I wasn't there, spending hours at her friends', telling me just an hour before that we were going to dinner at one of her friends' while I was planning to invite her to the restaurant. In the end, when I saw her last December and asked her when I would see her next and that she shrugged, it was the final straw and I started being very nasty, telling her: "do you enjoy humiliating people or general or is it just me ?" which I later regretted but it was too late: I was dumped.
When it comes to that German girl, I don't want to think about a relationship yet. I want to take it real slow. I can't change tutors now so I'll wait after my interview in about 2 weeks. Then, I'll ask her if she'd like to go with me (even though I think she's already been there) to the Picasso museum in the city.
I don't really know where I'm going, to be honest. The novelty factor and the fact that we meet in cafés sure adds to the thrill. For our first lesson, she arrived in the café before me and told me that she asked a couple of men if they were here for the German tuition as she didn't know what I looked like. She later joked to me: "they must have thought I was on a blind date" which got me thinking for a second but already I was counting the days I had left before my interview.
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A
male
reader, aunti67 +, writes (27 May 2009):
Hi
Two options ..
I think you definately should get a new tutor maybe someone alot less attractive ...and ask her out...
2nd Keep going to lessons squash your feelings totally see if you get the job and just tell yourself that its nothing more than a crush......
We tend to get excited or involved with things that are new fresh etc etc you are obviously attracted to long distance relationships (if you get the job you wont be anywhere near her even if she does go out with you)maybe because you have some fears on commitment
I think you need some space before jumping to get involved with someone else enjoy your life relationships can be complicated and you need time to lick your wounds from the last one focus on career much more important ...then u can really impress a female with your work !
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