A
female
age
30-35,
*cbcrzym
writes:HelloMy boyfriend and I have been dating for 9 months.He was the most wonderful boyfriend a girl could have.Did the nicest most special things for me. We are in college. Recently he suffered a terrible loss and I guess I was suffocating him. He asked for some space.He also said that he knew he loved me but things had gotten really predictable, staying together every night like we were married. I did not call or pester him. He called me one night almost in a panic saying that he missed me. When we got back after Thanksgiving break though, he seemed distant. I told him that he had had long enough to decide if he wanted to be together. He said he didnt want to lose me and we got back together. Everything was fine but he didnt stay over as much as he used to. I guess I started feeling neglected.I decided that i needed to be independant and so I went out with my girlfriends one night and got really drunk, basically ignored his calls to come be with me. I kissed another guy, or at least he says I did. Someone sent him pics of me flirting with the guy. He showed up at the bar, took me home and broke up with me. I went a bit crazy, but by the next morning I realized that I just needed to calm down and that he just needed some space to think through what happened. I wrote him a letter telling him that I knew that the break was for the best. when he came to get the letter he said he wanted to try again in a few days, that was before he read the letter. He started texting me when he went out and chating with me in the daytime. He was very flirty. He wanted to meet for coffee and we did. He said that I had hurt him very much but it wasnt the worst I could have done, I didnt have sex and he knows I would never do that. He said he wants to be with me, in fact cant imagine us not being together and that he loves me, and he knows that in time he will forgive me. He just needs time and I think he is embarrassed because people know what I did. When we are out in public he is nice and flirts but he keeps his distance and it hurts me.He keeps trying to hook up with me now and texts.I sometimes do not respond and he gets hurt but he needs to know that I cant just sit and wait. I have slept with him once and it felt terrible for me cuz he didnt call for almost a day and a half. I dont know if he really just wants to end it and tried to do it with the break and is using this as an excuse again to end things. I dont know what to do. Plus, he texts and chats with me and when I dont respond quickly enough he seems to get hurt. How do I not seem too anxious yet not make him think I don"t love him and want to be together? I dont want to appear desperate but I dont want to discourage him and make him give up on us. HELP!!
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broke up, drunk, flirt, got back together, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (13 December 2012):
 Well, basically, the perfect woman is unpredictable, has no social life, puts up with the push/pull emotional bullshit, gets lost when a guy needs space, gets sucked back in a relationship when he misses you, and endlessly patient with uncertainty, puts her needs aside but cater to him all the time. Good luck with that.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (12 December 2012):
 There's 'way too much drama in this submittal.....
Please re-consider and post this again, if you think it is appropriate......
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