A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half, it's been ok, but not perfect as no relationship is. We've had our ups and downs (with him cheating etc) but over all it has been great.About 6 months into the relationship I felt as if I was IN love with him and I told him and everything was wonderful.A year prior to this relationship, I had been in a 5 month relationship with what you could call my first love.. when we broke up it look a long time for me to recover, but when I did, I thought I was completely over it.Lately he's come back onto the scene and we've both found to have feelings for each other still, and I'm confused as to if this is genuine, or because he was my first love?I've found myself thinking of my ex all the time, unable to think of anything else, dreaming of him even..What is happening?! I don't want to lose my boyfriend but I can't help but feel this way. I stopped talking to the ex in hope that this would stop my attraction to him but it hasn't.. I feel like I've fallen for him all over again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2009): Hiya, you are the only person who knows what you want. Your current bf has hurt you due to cheating and sometimes although you forgive you never seem to forget. If your happy as you are then stay as you are and i know its difficult to escape your feelings for someone else but that to me says your not happy in your current relationship.I know you have said you dont want it to happen with ur ex and thats fine but just look at ur current situation and make sure your happy, cuz at the end of the day you are the one that matters men come and go.Hope thats helped you a bit, good luck x
A
female
reader, rndi lnn  +, writes (2 April 2009):
well, studies show that after a couple has been together for a long time, you may start to think of your ex. this is perfectly normal. just stop talking to the ex and these feelings will never go fully away but will subside. it's easy to look back and glamorize a situation.. meaning that what you remember may be a whole lot more wonderful than what actually happened. it's a defense mechanism in your brain called the subconscious. your preconscious is what's making you remember your ex. however your subconscious doesn't want to feel those feelings of hurt from the bad times and so chooses for you not to remember them.
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