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I don't want the relationship with married co-worker to go any further but he's started talking to me about sex

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Question - (30 December 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 31 December 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have been working in this company for some time. I got shifted to a new branch of the company, in another part of the city recently.

I'm writing about one of my male colleagues in my new office. He's married, with 3 children. I'm single and in my 20s. Initially we didn't talk much, but we slowly started opening up and getting to know each other. He's very handsome and has a good personality and is in a very senior position.

We have long conversations about a variety of topics. I find him to be very sensible and intelligent. We used to talk about family, friendships, life, the news etc. But now he's talking to me about sex. In general. I don't think he's implying anything, but is this normal conversation? My other colleagues don't talk to me about stuff like this. He's someone who is very friendly with everyone in the office, but when I asked him if he talks to the others about these things(family, friendships, life, the news, (sex??), he says he tells me stuff as he feels I understand them.

Am I taking this a bit too seriously or is there something going on? I sort of feel something between us. But he's married and I always look down on those who get involved with married people. I don't want our relationship to progress into anything further(which I am afraid might happen, coz like I said hes very attractive). I'm having mixed feelings. Am I reading into it too much??

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 December 2010):

He might be sounding ideas off of you just to see how you reciprocate...He might very well have mixed feelings about you too and is trying to create a more intimate relationship with you by revealing personal details and asking for your thoughts about it. He might be sharing information in the hopes that you share your personal details too. It may be a concsious thing on his part, but it also might not be.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, but I'd be careful not to reciprocate in kind and take care not to get emotionally invovled in his personal sexual dramas...Be discreet about your personal life and opinions. If he starts talking about his sex life with his wife you might might suggest he talk it over with her. More likely than not, he'll get the hint and stop sharing the details.

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A female reader, xanthic United States +, writes (31 December 2010):

xanthic agony auntThe only reason he would turn the conversation to sex is because he wants to sleep with you. There's no deeper meaning to it, he wants sex and he's testing you to see how far he'll get. It's up to you to draw the line and let him know it's inappropriate.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2010):

You're very smart to recognize the early warning signs of an EMOTIONAL AFFAIR.

Get out now, or halt it. Establish boundaries so this friendship doesn't slide into an emotional affair.

I've been there, and it then became a physical affair too, it lasted 4 years and while initially great eventually it leads to misery and pain... I see the writing on the wall. Stop it now.

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