A
male
age
51-59,
*uacks
writes:I have recently come out of a boring loveless marriage. I have been seeing my new girlfriend for a a few months now and when we are together we get on great. We have spent every weekend together and always have lots of fun and do some really great things. I have noticed however that when we are not together the only contact i have with her is when i phone or message her. She never contacts me and only replies hours later which is making me think that if she cant make the effort to pick up the phone then maybe she really isn't that bothered about me at all. I am not saying that i expect to be on the phone for hours every day or send 100's of messages, but is a simple hi, how are you each day too much to ask? I suppose coming from a failed marriage I have more of a guard up for future relationships but i am confused why especially at the start of a relationship all contact is so one sided. I wouldn't say i am needy so much more wanting to experience the thrill of a new relationship. I have asked her about it and she told me that she is just rubbish at using the phone and has been told so by friends and family several times. She did get better for a while but has slipped back into it. We did have a bit of an argument which was never really spoken about so does this mean she could now be doing it because she knows it bothers me now? I must admit it drives me crazy but what more can i do about it. I do really like her and she has told me that she really likes me and likes spending time with me but i want to be in a relationship where i feel the excitement of being in contact, not just waiting by the phone feeling disapointed.. Does anyone have any advice? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Have you ever thought, as suggested before, maybe she is just low on airtime!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): I think if she was not interested she would not be spending weekends with you; there might be some other reason/s; I don't want to speculate on it and I suggest you do not make to much of it; (maybe she is just low on airtime)
BUT
I do suggest you talk to her about it and tell her how you feel and how you will appreciate a call or a text from her sometimes;
Best wishes and keep SMILING.
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A
male
reader, quacks +, writes (16 August 2008):
quacks is verified as being by the original poster of the question Hi, and thanks for your answer. I dont get mad so much as not understanding. Usually in past relationships the contact has always been two ways and i suppose in the beginning of a relationship very frequent which i believed to be the norm. I suppose i am not great at relationships but do make an effort and i am trying to get better (which is why i am on here trying to understand). I would never want to change the way someone is but like i say it just comes across new and strange behaviour to me. I dont want to spoil the relationship entering into a if you ignore me, i'll ignore you situation but i do see what you are saying.. I suppose i am just trying to figure out what is making her tick? Thanks for your advice though
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): Bit of an odd one this because you would think she would not bother seeing you full stop if she was just not really that into you. I am drawing a slight comparison here but my boyfriend who I have not seen for 9 months at all he is living in Australia I'm stuck in the UK there has not been a day (only 2 days when we had a massive argument on the phone) when we have not text. We always say goodnight and hi morning how are you what kind of day have you had etc and sometimes we've said angry things sometimes loving things - but each day we have made the effort. It takes very little really and the point is it keeps you connected in between times whether thats a day, a week or 9 miserable months! :-( Anyway I get the feeling she either dislikes texting or calling or there is another reason. Does she text and call other people?? can you guage that and see if it is just you? It seems strange to me because of my own experience which is extreme I admit but even one text a day would be nice. I don't think you are asking too much - but I think you need to speak to her about it or find out more. Oh and by the way I come from a failed marriage where my ex husband could never be bothered to call me or text whether at work, away on business or on holiday on his own. So I know what feels right and what feels wrong.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 August 2008): It sounds like your a really nice guy. [Iv been having the same problem he said he went on hol and I saw him in town :-(] and if shes trying to piss you of on purpouse then its probably not worth it which I no is a real let down after all the time you put into it.
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A
female
reader, lost666 +, writes (16 August 2008):
 She doesnt want to appear desperate.take it from a girl who knows! at the beginning of a relationship, i always try my hardest to leave it up to the guy to contact me cos if i initiate the contact he'll think im too into him, if you know what i mean? i am currently the person waiting for a potential love - interest to call so i know what you mean!its awful! but im not gonna give yet and call him!
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A
male
reader, quacks +, writes (16 August 2008):
quacks is verified as being by the original poster of the questionNo we live about an hour from each other but we only get to see each other at the weekends at the moment
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