I don't want my boyfriend to be insecure

A female age 26-29, *kslrs writes:

I don't usually ask advice to people I don't know, but this is the exception because I really need help on this. It's gonna be long and I'm writing this from my iPod so ya...okay so the thing is, I've been going out with this guy for two months, and since I barely moved here to this new place last year he's my first best friend, we started talking on this class we had together, we had to sit next to eachother because of the sitting-chart, and well we started talking, then we became really good friends, then he would call me little sister, and all that cute best-friend's stuff, but I knew he liked me, everyone kept telling me he liked me, and I liked him too, but I was confused, well the truth is I didn't want to like anyone, or I didn't want anyone to like me, it's because I was depressed and everyday I would think of dying and allthat kind of stuff, but hey I'm not like that no more, he helped me, but before that, I got a boyfriend, some guy that was in my math class and that we used to talk, but not as much as i used to talk to my best friend, well we started going out and my best friend would act the same, but at first when he found out I had a boyfriend(I never told him I had a boyfriend but he saw me sluffing at the park with him) he said he was mad at me because I didn't tell him I had a boyfriend so I just said "I'm sorry but I don't really tell people about stuff like that" and he just said it was okay, then my boyfriend broke up with me like at the third week of our relationship, he didn't tell me why, and he broke up with me by phone, so I just called my best friend and we talked the whole night, from like 8 to around 12 or 2, I don't remember, but we talked all night, that got us closer and I liked that because he was all trying to cheer me up and it helped and I'm so glad he was there for me. Days passed by, I stopped liking my ex, I started talking to my best friend even more, we started to hang out at lunch because we usually didn't hang out at all, we would just text 24/7 and talk the whole class. I started falling for him, he got drunk one time and he told me "I think I have feelings for you" and I just didn't say anything cause in that time it's when I was going our with this one guy..and oh well. one day we were hanging out at lunch, by that time I was already in love with him, and he was in love with me, so he told me, he told me he had feelings for me and I just said "yes I know" and he asked me how did I know that and I told him about the time he was drunk and that he told me about it, he felt bad, he said he was a dick and all that stuff and I told him it was okay and not to worry about it, but the bell rang and we went to our classes, after school I went home and he texted me saying "I didn't get to ask you all I wanted to ask you today" and I said "I know" and he said "you do? What was I going to ask you" and I said "out, you wanted to ask me out" and I think he felt bad because of the fact that I knew he was gonna ask me out, and I told him not to ask me out, he asked me why not, and I said "I don't really want to get in a relationship, I'm too stupid and complicated" and well we got kinda like in an argument, he told me he was gonna forget about all the feelings he had for me and all that stuff, and well I was crying my eyes out because I felt like I was gonna lose him and I didn't want to lose him because he's really important to me, we stopped talking normally, but we couldn't go on like that so we fixed everything and we started talking normally again, and I was happy. Then he started to walk me home and all that stuff, he could stay over an we would talk and everyone would think we were going out, but we were not, yet. One day, he just asked me "is this gonna get any bigger?" and I said "yes, I guess" and he got sad because I said "I guess" and he said he wanted a straight answer, so I said "yes" but I think we didn't talk about it any further because he had to go home. After a few days we were at my house and I was sitting next to him and he was with his face down like always and I just looked at him in the eyes and I said "do it" and he said "do what?" and I said "do it!" and he said again "do what? I don't know what you're talking about!" and I said "kiss me" and he said "is that what you want?" an I said "yes" and he said "you kiss me" so I kissed him, it was the sweetest kiss ever, and he asked me "why did you kiss me?" an I said "because I love you" and then I kept kissing him, and he asked me "why do you keep kissing me if we're not even together?" and I said "we are" and he said "wait what we are?" and I said "yup" and he asked "since when?" and I said "hmm...since yesterday" and he said "yesterday?" and I said "yes, yesterday" and well he said "oh okay" but his face was like -I can't believe this- and well we started going out and everything was going perfect until one day I made something that upset him and well I didn't want him to be upset so I apologized for that and he forgave me. One Monday we slugged school together and we went to his house and we made love. I lost my virginity with him that day, and our relationship was going perfect. Out of nowhere he started saying that I was cheating on him or he would say I was gonna call 'my other boyfriend' but I didn't have another boyfriend so it would make me feel bad, but at the same time I thought he was just kidding, one night we were talking on the phone and he told me something like that, and I asked him "do you really think I'm gonna cheat on you or are you just kidding?" and he said "I mean everything I tell you" so it made me feel sad because I told him I would never cheat on him or something stupid like that and I told him to trust me and he said "what I'd I trust you and you do that?" and I was like "really? Do you really think I would do that?" and he said "I don't know" and well it was obvious that he didn't trust me so I was feeling terrible. The next day we just talked a little bit at school, but he knew there was something wrong but he didn't ask me anything, but later he texted me saying "what's wrong?" and I didn't see his message so I didn't text back, then he texted me again saying "what's wrong why don't you want to tell me?" so I said "you already know what's wrong" and he said "no I don't" and I said "you don't want to trust me and that makes me really sad" and I don't remember what he said but I didn't know what to do so I left school early and I didn't tell him, he was going to give me a ride so he was waiting for me, so he texted me saying where I was and I said "home" and he asked why and I said "because I'm so damn sad" and well he was eating with his friends so when he finished he asked me if he could come to my house and I said yes, so he came to my house and he apologized and I told him that I just needed him to trust me so he said "I trust you, but I was insecure because of how beautiful you are, and I'm ugly and I think you would want a good looking person like you" and I told him that to me that doesn't matter at all, I told him I was in love with him and that for me he was my idea of perfection and after all that we continued with our perfect relationship again. Then days passed by and summer started and one day he stopped texting me for two hours, out of nowhere, So I was worried, and I was thinking that he might be doing drugs(he used to do drugs) so I was worried and I think I overreacted and That made him mad and he told me "I quit that shit. Didn't I tel you? I see how much you trust me", and well I was sad because I knew I was stupid for thinking that and I apologized to him and we made love again, but after all that he stayed in silence and I knew there was something wrong so I asked him what was wrong and he said "WHY ME?!" and I told him "because I'm in love with you and we think alike and. I'm just in love with you, every time I find out something new about you it just makes me fall for you even more" but he didn't say anything and it looked like he wanted to cry, and then he said "this is too good to be true" and I told him not to think about 'why me' anymore and he said no, he said "like I said, this is too good to be true", and well that makes me really sad, I just don't know what to tell him anymore, j don't want to lose him, I'm in love with him and we want to get married, we already told his mom and she said it's okay. So help me please what can I do? I really need help on this, I should also say that he calls himself ugly, and he's a little bit overweight and I think that makes him insecure, and I want to help him change that, I just don't want him to be insecure and I want our relationship to work out. If you read all this thank you very much, I just need help on this. Please. Thank you. 

View related questions: best friend, broke up, depressed, drugs, drunk, I love you, insecure, kissing, lost my virginity, my ex, overweight, text

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (5 June 2012):

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A female reader, Lkslrs  +, writes (3 June 2012):

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A female reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 May 2012):

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