A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a 50 year old mother who has bipolar and depression. For the last 4 years she has stopped working and has really not been herself. She is a completely different person from when I was a young girl.My mother has asked me if she can move in with me at my home so I can help her. As much as I love my mother and I truly feel sorry for her I hate to say I don't want her to live with me. She can get very angry and sometimes violent if she's not taking her medication, she never leaves the house, things like this make me uncomfortable. I'm someone to struggles just to take care of myself and I know I cannot help support my mother. My sister wants nothing to do with her, her parents are deceased, and she does not have a man so I feel like I'm the only one who can help.What should I do? Please help
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2015): I think a very firm no might do the trick and be quite blunt and tell her that you only just feel youve grown your wings and learnt to fly so you are not ready in life at this time to help your mother.Mum will understand eventually that it would work better for your sanity and your job and your friendships if she has her own place and she will adapt accordingly.She is only asking as she doesnt know whats around thd next corner and quite probably mum would be better off with her own place.So get something sorted via social care or regular flat hunting but at least be definate so that mum can examine all her other options.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2015): While we must do our best for our parents, having been a carer for 12 years now for a parent with similar issues, and having started as a child, I don't think we have to give up our own mental health to help them. Fo what you are able, but allow yourself your own sanctuary, your ownhome to be safe in.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2015): see if you can find an inpaitent treatment center for her or a halfway house.Do not put yourself thru this much stress.My hubby has mentally ill siblings like this and the stress led to such a strike in my bp i had a stroke.They get violent and just batshit crazy you have no idea.When they feel better they do do not take their meds and it gets way worse.The worst part is the family is in such denile how bad it really is and do nothing about it.Do not take her in your life will be hell.I have to take meds now just to deal with it.I know it is your mom but do you want to end up like me?Call social services and have her placed where trained people can moninter her daily.That would be the best for you and her.Trust me I live this daily and it is slowly killing me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2015): Hi! I know how you feel and living with a sick parent is kind of hard! But remember this she is your MOTHER! She gave you birth and took care of you along with everything else! Its your duty to take care of her without her asking of you. I know it will be tough on you but God will reward you for your good deed! Just think about how you can manage her problem! She ask for your help because she loves you the most! I don't know how exactly are your living conditions but all you can do right now is be there for her! Somehow just manage your life and take care of her! Everything will be alright!
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