A
female
age
30-35,
*elples
writes:I'm about to break up with my long distance boyfriend when I come home for Christmas break. I can't stop crying. It's light crying, not excessive but it still hurts so much. I love him but things between us have only been getting worse, although he fails to acknowledge it. I hoped he would change from all the times I kept mentioning it but he's the only one who can change himself if he really wants to that is. What really pushed me off the edge is his best friend is back with his ex who caused SO many problems between my boyfriend and I because she had feelings for my boyfriend and he would flirt back with her. I broke up with him because I was devastated and became depressed after the break up. It seemed like I wasn't the only one. After a few months, he showed me he turned over a new leaf. It was like he was a completely different person. He told me how much he missed me and I saw a look in his eyes I had never seen before. He even shed tears for me. I was so stunned. After insisting, I finally agreed to see him again. I found out his best friend had broken up with his ex while we broke up. He didn't contact her from what he told me since him and I broke up. He said he just didn't feel like talking to her anymore. Anyways, things were great until college time and I left to a college five hours away. As I stated before, things were getting worse (hardly talking, him not even being as sweet as he use to be over the phone or when I came down to visit) so I was already feeling uncomfortable. But now I found out from my mother whose friends with his that his best friend is going back out with his ex! My boyfriend didn't even tell me, probably because he knows how much I dislike her. She has no respect for others, or her boyfriend. She treats him like crap. But who am I to judge? I can't do this anymore, history is bound to repeat itself. He's with his best friend 24.7, and his best friend is going to be with his girl so he is bound to run into her and who knows what might happen. I can't continue going out with him because every day I'll live in fear thinking they're flirting. And my heart can't bear to go over the same thing. I love him so, but I know I have to call it off. It's best that way. Yet, I can't stop crying. Im so sad and I'm a little afraid that I might become "depressed" like the last time we broke up. From the beginning during his insisting, I knew the girls that caused so many problems would always link back to him and I ignored my better judgement because of my stupid emotional self. If I had just sticked to my mind, I wouldn't be in this pickle but I don't regret it since I finally saw how kind and loving he could be. I'm sorry for venting but I'm just so sad. Please help?
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best friend, broke up, christmas, depressed, flirt, his ex, long distance Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 December 2009):
 Your right, you will become depressed. The reasons you will is that deep down you don't want it to end. You want to end it because you fear what might happen, that hasn't happened, and that their is a possibility it wouldn't happen?
How long are you going to allow your insecurities dictate your actions? Every time I get in my car, I know there's a possibility of getting into an accident, but I still drive. Just like in a relationship, there is always a possibility of it not going in the direction you'd choose, but to end it based on a possibility would be hanging up your keys.
I'm sure you've heard "follow your heart", in other words, go in the direction of your feelings. Feelings don't lie, but certain thoughts can contradict truth. I'm not saying your bound to be together forever, I just wanted you to base your decision on what you really want and not the fear of what may or may not happen.
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