A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I just recently broke up with my boyfriend less then a week ago and I won't go into details but I know for sure its over and I feel as if I am pretty much over him. But during our relationship I was talking to a good friend of his who was helping me through the last, rough bit of the relationship and then afterwords. We also talked a lot and I felt somewhat drawn and attracted to him. So the night after I broke up with my boyfriend he stopped by and we talked for hours about just about everything and then somehow we ended up in a heated kiss and this happened about three times that night. He told me since he first saw me he was attracted and was starting to like me. So he finally made it over here again last night (it was pretty late but he still came) and we talked for a little bit but ended up kissing, touching and then some (we couldn't have sex, I am pretty sure we went as far as we could) and then afterwords we were talking about how we didn't plan on it to happen, how he just wanted to stop by. But then after his friend (my ex) and what would happen if he found out got brought up, he took off quickly. He told me he was still interested and getting to know me BUT I can't help feeling that he is just going to use me for sex. So here is my question: Does it sound like he is using me? If not what can I do from keeping things to get heated as they did before? Sorry that was a long question. Thanks in advance :)
View related questions:
broke up, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, DenimandLace44  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 I don't think he is using you for sex. I think he genuinely likes you. I would suggest you give yourself some time to heal before spending time together. Maybe text and IM but not spend a lot of time together in the same room.
This will also give your ex time to heal and move on...which will make this all easier for the three of you when and if you start going out with his friend. good luck
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (10 October 2010):
 He's not using you. If he were, you'd have either had sex with him, or he would have pressured you for sex beyond what you wanted to give him.
What you're feeling right now is normal for people who just broke up. Your emotions are still raw, you're hurt, you're confused, and you haven't gained a stable emotional footing yet. Now, you have a rebound relationship. It could very well have been him here asking whether or not you're using him as a rebound or to get revenge on your ex. See what I mean?
I think both of your intentions are pure, but I think you both should slow down so that you can get closer on your own merits and not rush into the arms of a rebound without resolving your own broken heart.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2010): One thing you can do is stay away from doing sexual things with him. Avoid hanging out in private places. Go out around early to late afternoond. Avoid texting and talk more, it's better communication. Don't go to your place with him or vice versa. If he calls to come over, you're sorry but you're tired and really have to sleep. Hm...the fact that he left after you brought up being together and what your ex would say is a red flag. If you're interested in something lasting, don't go straight for sex. If he hangs around without sex, cool, he wants something more. If you find that he's always looking for sexual things...cut the line. Make sure he suffers blue balls :p
...............................
A
female
reader, fi_the_tree  +, writes (10 October 2010):
 I don't think he'd try and use you, maybe the reason he took off so quick is because he realised that it could be a problem because his best mate is your ex.
It's nice that he was there for you when things were rough, and seeing you so vunerable obviously opened up his soft side which in turn meant he fell harder for you.
I think you need to take some time for a while. Don't rely on this guy to help make you feel better, he could end up being a rebound. He seems nice, and rebounds never really end well...
...............................
|
