A
female
age
30-35,
*aybaybay_x
writes:Me and the guy I'm seeing were having a phone conversation.I'd be feeling a little down because he's not very affectionate and generally i feel like he takes me for granted.While I was speaking on this I could hear him watching a girl's snapchat video which he replayed twice and proceeded to ask me to repeat myself. I told him he makes me feel like he doesn't care what I have to say and is often distracted when I'm around.He asked me why am I being like this..I then said to him he seemed busy and I'm going to bed and hung up.He then text me asking why is it always drama with me? And 10 mins after that message text me again saying "you know what forget it, don't even respond" I haven't responded and its been three days. We've been dating for 3 months and talking for 2 additional months prior.Should I wait for him to contact me? Or just call him? I don't like the waiting game, however, I feel like quite disrespected by him and I don't want him to feel like he can disregard my feelings and still have me chasing him.
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 November 2014):
Don't contact him and if he contact you back, just tell him it's not working out.
HE is looking at SNAPCHATS with another person while on the phone with you, you know what that means? IT mean you are NOT a priority to him, he doesn't respect you, nor does he want to. And when you bring it up.... HE call you a drama queen, making it ALL your fault. COME ON, girl don't take that kind of crap JUST to have a BF.
It's only been 3 months, why waste more time on a guy who ALREADY takes you for granted? That only gets worse.
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (24 November 2014):
 You know, when stuff like this pops up in the earlier stages of a relationship, it usually doesn't get better. Best to cut losses, call off the whole thing before you get too invested into it, and hold out hope for someone a lot more emotionally compatible with you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (23 November 2014):
 No... you should stay away from him, because his behaviour makes it clear that he doesn't give a damn about you...
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2014): In a solid, compatible relationship, heck even in the not so compatible relationships, the first few months are the honeymoon period where you can't get enough of each other. If at 3 months you feel 'a little down because he's not very affectionate and generally i feel like he takes me for granted.' then he's definitely not worth pursuing. Just don't call him back ever. Ps. the way you handled that conversation could have been better. You were quite passive aggressive when you said ' he seemed busy and I'm going to bed and hung up.'This approach to solving problems will generally provoke the type of response you got, that you were being melodramatic, or he'll just ignore it altogether.When you feel x because y and need z to make things better - you have to say so. Otherwise you resent him for not fixing a problem that he might not have considered as a problem. In this case, you could have said 'I feel neglected and I feel you're not very affectionate because you take me for granted; like right now being on snapchat and not paying attention to me. I would like it if you could focus your attention on me when we are speaking.This way, you state your needs and he has a chance to fix it.I still think it's a lost cause with your current bf but for your next relationship do be clear about what you want and need. Both of you will be happier for it.
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