A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:PLEASE someone help me.. My husband is sex OBSESSED!We have been together 10 years and don't have any children. We have always had a very adventurous sex life and there isn't much we haven't tried. The problem I have is for the last 5 or 6 years, every time we have sex, it can't be 'normal' sex, it has to be something more (sorry if TMI but when I say something more I mean anal, fisting, toys etc). This, coupled with the fact he wants sex at literally every opportunity, has really started to turn me off. For example, we were getting ready for a wedding reception on Friday evening, both dressed up to the nines and he said seeing me in my dress was turning me on. We had literally less than 5 minutes before we had to leave but he was insistent on having sex before we left. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if it was a 'seize the moment' quickie, but with him he always has to get a toy out or push the boundaries in other ways. Today we've had sex twice already then just now as id got out of the bath, he wants it again. We have friends coming over for dinner and I've said definitely no, it's not happening, we don't have time. Now he's in the worse mood ever and I'm dreading the evening. We've spoken about it so much and I've said it's making me miserable. His answer to it is that I turn him on and I should be happy that this many years down the line he still fancies me and finds me attractive. What can I do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2014): There is nothing wrong with having a high libidio like your husband although demanding anal, fisting and such every time maybe signs of compulsivity. You should be flattered that he finds you sexy and that he desires you. Besides possible compulsivity on your husbands side, additional problem is the definitive mismatch in sexual desires and this mismatch can totally ruin your relationship such that your man will stop wanting you. It has already affected your desire for him. Best course of action is for you to research some on this issue, find possible therapists who deal with this then tell your husband that you want both of you to be looked at because these two problems will wreck you apart.
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 November 2014):
 Get him to his doctor and talk about it? It's one thing to still find one another attractive and have a healthy sex life, but it's gone beyond that it seems. It's not healthy any longer if he NEEDS it, like an addiction, and gets in a grumpy mood if he doesn't get it. Him always needing more and more stimulation though, makes me wonder if he's watching a lot of porn? Has he perhaps lost his ability to get turned on/have an erection through "normal" sex?
There's something going on there, and his defensiveness and avoiding talking about it just tells me he's hiding something. If we're talking about an addiction/erectile dysfunction then a man will often hide it because he feels ashamed by it.
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