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I don't want him to be around our baby ever, am I doing the right thing?

Tagged as: Pregnancy, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (18 November 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 8 October 2012)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hello viewers...I'm back and now I'm shy if 27 weeks pregnant. Things aren't the greatest for me but better.I'm having my third boy and the father still has nothing to do with us. and is mom and brother has accepted the fact and he has beaten his brother up for being around and me and has elected to tell his family my son is not his, it freakn breaks my heart. I cannot believe how mean and disrespectful this man is behaving, it makes me cry at the thought. I've definetly made the decision of me not wanting him NOWHERE near the delivery room/hospital and I want rights signed over. Am I not doing the right thing seeing as though he hasn't been around anyways?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2012):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hey, you may remember me from being pregnant and ditched by my "bipolar" baby daddy. Well everything is still the same. My child has NO father, he still wants nothing to do with our son. He seen him briefly but that was by accident. It hurts me each and everyday but I'm doing it. His mom helps out and DOR is currently looking for him. I hate him so bad it hurts. My son is gorgeous and looks just like him, this situation still baffles me. I'm so curious to why my child is meaningless to him although his firstborn gets the love and exceptance. I should have chosen wisely, I screwed my son over without intention. Why am I still broken up inside? I have no answer.

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A female reader, missy23 United States +, writes (19 November 2011):

If he really does not want to parent. You can present him with paperwork to terminate parent rights. You see in some states you can terminate your rights as a parent but you still have the responsibility to support them. This means he has to pay and gets no say in what happens in his son's life. Sounds harsh but this will be better, then him getting him just to punish you for making him pay support.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

So_Very_Confused agony auntMy take on this is:

1. he should be made to financially help support a child he created.

2. it should be done through the courts with wage garnishment if possible.

3. you should get an RO or PO if you are afraid of him and also make sure that he can't come near you or the baby

4. if he is the father and he wants visitation you can't stop it but you can request that the courts provide supervised visitation (he has to pay the court supervisor's fees to see his child so that may deter him) due to his temper and your fears for your safety and the safety of your child.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (18 November 2011):

Honeypie agony auntHonestly, you have to do what you think is right for you and the baby.

He sounds like a douche.

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (18 November 2011):

aunt honesty agony auntIt's a hard one to judge. At the end of the day you need to think about the baby and what is best for him. If he does not want anything to do with you or the children and he makes that clear well then I guess you are doing the right thing. But if there is a glimmer of hope that he will change well then he also needs to keep contact stable and regular. If you don't believe that he is up to this well then maybe your children would be better off without him. Best of luck.

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