A
male
age
36-40,
*oobish
writes:My girlfriend acts like she loves me so much and that she wants to talk to me soo much every day. we have a long distance relationship because she moved to canada but every day she inboxes me on facebook saying how she misses me so much and how she wants to see me and i make her day. but whenever i see her she doesnt look that excited, like if we are having a video call if i say something she would reply to someone first and ask me what i said like 5 seconds later and it annoys me so much, it happens like 6-7 times in 5 minutes and its really pissing me off because i put her first before everything and she makes me feel like that.I feel like i cant trust her because my best friend asked her out when i was dating her 1 month ago and she didnt say no straight away. he asked her next time you come from canada go out with me and she said, "oh i dont know yet, im just going with the flow, and im not single at the moment so i dont know yet" it really pissed me off because when i found out she was like oh i dont like him n stuff but she didnt say no to him.she didnt say no or i dont like you to him. all she said to him was i am not single at the moment. does that mean she would go out with him if she wasnt with me?After i found out we had an argument for 3 hours which was completely silent i didnt talk to her for 3 hours we just sat there in a park on the bench for 3 hours. she said she wont bother talking to him anymore but when i went on her facebook she had changed her password and she told me how he had sent her a message but she wont tell me what it said i asked her i want to see that message and instead she started saying " you need to stop bringing things from the past back to life, it makes me look like a bad person all the time"i dont know what to do she still talks to him but on the other side she acts like she loves me and allthen today she asked me why i wasnt talking to her yesterday and i dont know if she had found out about me asking dearcupid about advice but since she knows my hotmail and facebook password i think she read it and she was like is it because im not giving enough attention to you and basically i dont want to argue with her so i hide stuff from her all the time because i dont want to lose her if i argue with her.she had this book called the secret to teen power and she was like reading it to me saying how its good and the first topic she read was "if you think negative you see everything negative" i went on her msn to see if she was talking to the guy and she found out cauz it said signed on at two places. and she was like why are you on my msn and i said im not and then i couldnt help myself so after like 20 minutes i was like are you talking to him and she was like no is that why you are all quiet and i was like no because i dont want to admit it to her. i just love her too much and i cant lose her but she doesnt show that.her best friend cheated on her bf and she was telling me how her best friend's bf was telling her stuff and then at the end he was apologizing and i was like its because boys always have to apologize girls just dont care and it looked like she didnt even care about the indirects i was giving her.i trust her but i dont trust the guy who used to be my best friend and i dont want her talkling to him but i guess she still does and it pisses me off.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, The old Man?  +, writes (25 September 2010):
 My first question to you is Why do you trust her?
You say that she changed her Facebook password, yet she logged into your e mail. So it's OK for her to get into your e mail, but you'd better leave hers alone? WRONG!
She told the guy that she wasn't "single at the moment" Does that mean that she may have something in the makings, but just hasn't told you yet? Red Flag again!
I could go on and on here but here's a conclusion I came to a long time ago.
If your mate cheats on you, WHY do people get upset at the person they are cheating with? Think about this.
THEY are the one doing the cheating! The person who they are cheating with, should not enter the equation!
Remember, it takes two to Tango. If your mate cheats, they had just as much of a hand in it as the person they are cheating with. The difference is, THEY are supposed to be committed to YOU. This other person owes you NOTHING! Your mates loyalty is to YOU.
If they cheat on you, or lead someone on, It's time they need to gotten rid of.
If she loves you as much as you love her, there wouldn't be any issues with changing passwords, talking to someone behind your back, or this crap of "I'm not single "at the moment". She would simply tell him NO!
It sounds like you are being faithful to someone who is playing you as a fool.
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