A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'd been together with my boyfriend for three years and we have a 8 month old baby girl and we have been very happy since her birth. On Monday we were arguing via text message about why he still had his ex's number in there under a different name. He text to me to tell me that he had slept with her 17 months ago and her daughter that was born the day before ours was his and he was leaving to be on his own. He has been round ever day since to see our daughter but still says he wants to be on his own. He has had nothing to do with the other child and I have doubts he is the father as she was sleeping with numerous men. I dont understand why he has just left saying he wants to be alone? Why has he left us when we were so happy and I want him to come home so we can try and work through it.
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 When the guy comes round next time ask him what's going on. Explain how you feel about the whole situation and that you don't know where you stand and see what he says. He may just have a bit much going on in his head right now to be able to deal with anything and he thinks by being alone he can deal better.
I agree with DJ8433 that more time is needed as time is definately a great healer. Explain you want him to come home so he knows that he can.
xxxxxx
A
male
reader, DJ8433  +, writes (14 July 2007):
 Tough one, really tough because a child is involved. I stayed in an unhappy marriage for a long time because of my two children. Looking back I wouldn't have done it any differently, except maybe tried to be more of a man. Regrets, I have few...enough about me. I can feel your anguish. I know that any advice for you right now is going to sound absurd, but maybe you just need to hear the obvious. Time - more time is needed for you two to try to work though it. Maybe you can forgive him, but maybe over time you will realize that you cannot. Trust, once it's broken can never be the same. If back together, will you be checking up on him, making sure he's where he says he will be? Will you question where he is every minute of every day? Will you be wondering why it took him 15 minutes longer at the home depot? You need time, but I think you will find that he may have made the best decision for both of you, and anything less would compromise him and compromise your chance for future happiness in say another relationship. If you do split, make sure legally that he is responsible for that child. My question to you is, what do you want?
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