A
male
age
30-35,
*oothemoon31
writes:I really need some help.Im 22 and ive never had a gf.i've never understood how the relationships work.it seems quit complicated for me. and i don't like do things without figure it out what i'm doing.u know makes me feel like an idiot and idon't like to feel this way. i may sound geeky...well! maybe i am. but i really like women i just don't know how to make them confortable with me . and i don't know if i can make myself confortable with'em.i get this feelling like i'm seattin' with total stranger.u know what i'm talkin' about?...any way i hope u can understood what i'm tryin' to say here.i'm ready to have as many as it take of disscussion.cuz it really sucks. u know the feeling of beeing the only weird, make u don't treat ur self good.any way i guess i make my self clear that i need help .so it's up to u people.love . from africa Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (23 May 2011):
 It's not about feeling comfortable with another or not, not in the way you describe it anyhow. It is about having a connection, wanting the same thing, having the attributes you look for in a partner.
Relationships work like this: two single people are looking for a partner. They spot each other. They engage in conversation, and after talking several times they figure out if they want the same things in life, what their values are, how they dress, what they do for a living, what their goals are etc. All the things you need to know about a potential partner.
Next step is that each person evaluates whether or not they want each other, or if they want to keep looking. If BOTH decide that this might be worth a relationship, they approach each other with that intent. What happens next is the dating phase, where you take a step further to get to know each other.
If there is physical attraction, and both parties enjoy each others company, they go to the next level, which is a relationship. This means they will kiss, hold hands, be romantic, show love and care for each other, and they will be exclusive, meaning they do not look for another partner but only have eyes for the one they are in a relationship with. They fall in love.
The next step in this process is that they move in together, or get married, or have children, all depending on what sort of relationship they want.
So, if you want a girlfriend, figure out what it is you want first. Then look around you, do any of the women around you have what it is you are looking for? Then talk to them, get to know them. If you're unable to get to know a woman, then you lack the social skills required to talk to people and befriend them. I suggest you treat it as you will treat getting to know any person, man or woman, and befriend them at first. Then take it from there.
Socializing is a skill you learn through practice. You just have to jump into it and try and try and try until it works, that's the only thing that helps.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2011): well, try 2 find som1 that u know from ur frnds and ask her out..... or maybe u r not n 2 girls...
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