A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i don't have a clue what to think about this situation and i'm incredibly confused about what's really going on.i have been with my girlfriend for about three months now, but something in the pit of my stomach tells me that i'm missing something or that something is wrong.i don't think she's cheating on me or wants to be with someone else. i could be wrong, but that's not what my gut is saying. but basically, things feel inconsistent.this is an example. we work together. well yesterday, we got off of work and sat in the parking lot and talked a while before parting ways. she wound up having to go home and study for an exam she was taking this morning at 11 am. we talked on the phone during her smoke breaks last night and while she was making herself some dinner, etc. and she constantly texted me throughout the course of the evening. i wasn't feeling very great last night, either, and she even offerered to swing by my place and bring me some medicine, to which i turned down (this gives me indication she's not lying to me or with someone else). anyway, she calls and says goodnight.well 11 am rolls around - time for her to take her exam. i haven't heard a word from her. if she were up, i know she would have sent me a text message. but nothing. this has happened multiple times in our relationship where she has a test for class but yet won't get up and i don't hear from her. when i do, it's later in the afternoon and she will say she's been asleep and is sick and is going to the doctor. in fact, this exam is a make-up from last week when she was sick. so she missed it again. i expect to hear from her around 4 this afternoon when she wakes, with some sort of excuse why she missed her test (she does wake up extremely late - when she spends the night with me, she sleeps that late). i just don't understand what's going on. it's odd behavior and it throws me off. why spend so much time studying and stressing for a test just to not get up and take it? she has mentioned that she used to be in counseling and actually needed to start going back. she also mentioned she was on anxiety meds but hasn't been to her psychiatrist recently. i didn't know until that moment that she had ever been on anything. i'm starting to really worry i'm missing something huge with her. maybe it's nothing and it's none of my business if she does or doesn't get up for her tests. but at the same time, i really care about her. and when i know she has a test to get up for and she doesn't get up, i can't help but worry. i worry that maybe she got in a car wreck on her way to class. or something happened to her. i also worry that maybe she over-slept. i start thinking the worst because i know she should be up but i haven't heard from her. i don't know how to approach this with her. i don't want to come across like i'm paranoid, but i'm really starting to wonder what's going on. i think there's something deeper then what's on the surface. but i don't know how to ask. when people start behaving unpredictable and inconsistent, i usually know something is off. help please! what is going on???
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (26 February 2013):
 She sounds like she has performance anxiety…some folks are lousy test takers… if the only time she oversleeps is her tests that explains that.
My husband is a night owl He can and does sleep most of the weekend days away…. Waking him for anything is dreadful… he loves to sleep. And he’s not young…. It drives me nuts that he can sleep like that… but folks that are depressed use sleep to avoid the world….
If she has mental illness that requires medication, she needs to see the professionals and get the help she needs. Many folks can and do function beautifully in life with the proper care. I’m hoping your girlfriend can be one of them.
encourage her to see her psych and start her treatments back up.... find out about her test anxiety....
A
male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (26 February 2013):
 Yea exactly. She is def keeping something about herself from u. Maybe shes scared to tell u? Insecure? Assure her u wont get upset n pull it out of her as u need to kno.
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A
female
reader, Makayla5893  +, writes (26 February 2013):
I would definitely talk to her about how she is feeling. If she has a history of anxiety she may well stress herself out so much that she just avoids the exams altogether so she doesn't have to deal with the stress. I'm guessing she's embarrassed about her anxiety, and that's why she makes up excused about being sick. Approach the subject delicately, so she doesn't feel like you're judging her. Instead of bringing up the exams, ask her does she ever get stressed out and ask how she feels about life, studying, work etc. She may need to go back on the anxiety medication but be too embarrassed to ask for help.
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