A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was speaking to this guy for a few months. He seemed quite interested in me, always compliment me, ask for face pictures of me, just so sweet and lovely! We met up a few times and we eventually had sex... he complimented me during the sex (saying I'm so handsome and beautiful) and a few days later - he has found a boyfriend! I feel a little hurt and cheapened he found someone a mere few days sleeping with me? Why bother sleeping with me at all if you're romantically involved with someone else? Am I overreacting?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 July 2017):
 You are not over reacting, you invested time and feelings in to this person. Unfortunately it sounds like he just wanted sex from you and did not feel the same as you. You can beat yourself up about it but there really is no point. He is the one who uses people not you. In future it is best to talk to a guy and ask them what their intentions are before having sex with them.
A
male
reader, froglegs  +, writes (10 July 2017):
you did nothing wrong it is he that wants to live his life playing the field, he will not stay long with this new guy, try not to let this get to you,
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (10 July 2017):
 He was looking for sex, nothing more.
I'm betting his shallow attitude isn't just towards you, but towards most people, he wants to sleep with and then move on to the next.
He knows how to read people and what angle to "play" to get what he wants. With you, it was a lot of sweet nothing online/over text until you were ready to have sex with him. Once he had that he is off to the next guy.
YOU didn't DO anything wrong that MADE him treat you this way. (other than MAYBE jumping in with both feet after only a few dates and no talk of exclusivity) It IS hard to know if a person is ONLY really looking to bed you and then move on.
My guess? He talks to MULTIPLE people at the same time, CASUALLY dates and sleeps with people. NOT your fault for not knowing that.
Don't feel cheap. Just learn from it and move on. Some guy getting you compliments and sweet things doesn't MEAN he is serious about you. TAKE your time getting to know someone you are interested in, IN PERSON (and not in the bedroom over tech).
Chin up.
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