A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Well I've been friends with a group of guys for many years now, an we have all been through a lot together. We have all been single and in relationships over the years, I ended my relationship a few years back now and started leading the single life with my single friends. My relationship was incredibly abusive which was hard on me personally, my girlfriend was very emotionally and mentally abusive which made a lasting impression on my confidence and self esteem. My friends at the time helped me through some of it which I was truly grateful for. Then one day I decided to sort myself out, I hit the gym and I've never looked back. It was the best thing I ever did, I'm proud of what I've achieved over the past two years. I've even been asked to do some model work, but I'm not the kind of person to be big headed about it. I won't tell my friends about this though out of embarrassment. I'm just thrilled with what I've done. Some of my friends have even said how good I look which I'm thrilled with because it's nice to hear a positive thing said instead of someone pulling me down on a daily basis. What I have noticed though is some of my friends when they hear someone say how good I look they pull a face and make a remark about what people say to me. I don't understand why they have started to do this? Some of them have better jobs and nice girlfriends, I'm still single, yet I'm made up for them I can't get bitter. Even if I meet a girl when I'm out, they pull a face or say she's an idiot then ring me every day and ask about what's going on with that girl. I never ask them about their personal life as it's none of my business. I don't understand all this sudden change from them?Sorry its long by the way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the advice, not sure a bout the male competition thing. Ive tried making a joke out of it but that didnt work. I just find it strange that when im down they helped me and now im doing great on my own they seem to want to put me back down now. I think it maybe time to start looking for some new friends, if i was a big head or arrogant i could undrstand their comments but im the quietest out the group and could never say things like that to a friend. Even though im single and they aint they still seem to try to make me look foolish infront of girls when im out with them, its just hard when these are guys i grew up with.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2009): Isn't this a guy competition sort of thing? When you got your better bod, it made them feel insecure. You could think of some jokes to lighten the mood..."yeah, I'm so hot-don't touch me or you'll get burned" (my poor attempt :) or "Hey, it's my way of getting aggression out" Anyways, a real friend will get over it (or start getting in shape themselves) or it's time to make some new friends.
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