A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: you see. i have this frined. ((call her girl)) and i went to her house the other day. we are quite good friends and i do tell her everything. she tells me everything and we keep it to ourselfs. only i went to her house and we was sat in her living room with her mum and her sister((25 year old)) they are both adults. and i got a text. girls mum said ooo is it from ya chap.((joking)) we laughed it off and girl turned round and said no its probably the father of her baby. her mum and sister looked at me in shock and i looked at girl. she turned away as she knew she had said something wrong. ((i had told her that i was pregnant in confidence as im 14 and couldnt tell anyone else))((i thought i could trust her??)) ((she can trust me)) you see the thing is i took 4 tests and they were all posative, had mornin sickness. no periods everythng and i went for my 12 week scan last week and the baby has died..((i had a misscarage)) i dont dare tell my friend now because she might tell people behind my bak((if she tells hermum and sisterin front of me whats she gonna say when i am not there. should i tell her or keep it a secret. any advice i would much apprieceite it. sorry if this question is completely innapropriate just felt i needed tolet it off my chest... thanx a lot for readin xxxxxxxx
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): From the way you wrote this, I think it was a slip of the tongue on the part of your friend. It may be that she is not able to tell you how disappointed she is in you for having sex at the age of 14, and allowing yourself to get pregnant....in this day and age there is really no excuse to become pregnant if you don't want to, and before you are really of age.
You need to tell your own mother about your pregnancy and your miscarriage, you need to have a closer bond with your own parents and then maybe you would not be seeking out the approval of this girl or the guy who got you pregnant or any guy that blows in your ear and tells you what you want to hear so you will have sex with him.
I hope you are on birth control and practicing safe sex if you are to continue, which I really hope you won't until you are a lot older and more mature and able to support yourself. Get your education, that is your job as a 14 year old is to do the things that will make you a great productive member of society as an adult....
This girl is probably still a very good friend to you, friends tell friends when they are in the wrong and behaving in self destructive manners, if she did not care she would not have outed you to her mom who is her guide through life, she wanted her mom's support and opinion on the subject of you being pregnant....it will all be OK if you try to understand it from her point of view. If she hurt your feelings by saying that, then tell her, but she did do it in front of you, not behind your back, which would have been much worse.....she wanted you to know how she felt in an indirect way.
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): keep this to your self even if it just sliped out, but at your age you should be at least usen condums, u dnt need a baby and dnt wnt 2 catch an std
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 April 2007): Should you continue telling her private things or be more reserved? Your friend committed an indiscretion. She appears to haven't done that intentionally though. If she regrets it, you may give her a second chance. But it's recommendable to be very cautious about who you share intimate things with; I think it's important that you leave to yourself a shade of doubt until it is confirmed you can really trust somebody, this way you are prevented against not so pleasant situations... take care
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