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female
,
anonymous
writes: I met my boyfriend through an ex boyfriend, that's bad I know, but my former boyfriend was terrible.I knew a little about my current boyfriend, he's a bad boy and all that. While I was going out with my ex, my current bf had sex with an ugly girl I knew and it was gross because he started when I was in the room. I heard he was quite the little person. I eventually started to like him and I found that he was a really sensitive kid. I know he loves me but I really don't trust him at all and I don't know how to fix it. I'm a stubborn "I'm the boss" kind of girl. I don't know what to do.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2006): You're not a "I'm the boss" kind of girl at all, are you?
Your question is full of paradox and contradiction. One moment he is really sensitive, the next he starts having sex with an "ugly" (AN UGLY!!) girl whilst in the same room with you. I bet you're not ugly at all, are you? Then you decided to like him, but then again, you don't trust him. How confusing that must be for you.
He's not the bad boy, nor was your ex. It's you - you're confused and have not had the proper guidance from a male role model as you were growing up. That is why you are in the predicament that you are in now.
Your fascination and attraction to "bad boys" will stop the moment you realise you're not as intelligent as you think you are. Open yourself up to your heart and feelings, they are there...... somewhere.
A
female
reader, Terrie-Anne +, writes (26 November 2006):
I think you should stop and think things through, it's silly liking a bad boy when there are some good guy's about. you sound like a smart girl so think about it.
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A
female
reader, mommyofthree +, writes (16 November 2005):
 Women to tend to be drawn to the "bad boys". I would say that if you are having trouble rusting him in the beginning of the relationship, it will probably always be that way. You can't "fix" someone, and no matter how much you want to take charge in the relationship there is no way for you to keep him from being what he is. You have a responsability to yourself to not get into situations that will hurt you, which this one may prove to be if you feel like he may stray at some point. Many times our "bad boy" relationships end up being like projects, we are trying to work on this person because we feel like they just haven't met the "right" girl yet. We know that we will be different to this person and we will set that sensitive boy hiding underneath free. Too many times we end up crushed, wondering why we weren't good enough for him to change his ways. Take him for what he is, not to say that he will never change but don't count on it any time soon.
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