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I don't trust him because he cheated in the past!

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 February 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 February 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi there I need your help!

I've been going with my boyfriend for almost four years well kind of. The thing is we went together for 6 months he treats me like crap, he cheated on me and everything but we got back together a year later and now we've been together 3 years but I still dont trust him.

He now treats me like a princess spoils me rotten and nothing he does seems to lead to him cheating but I just don't trust him and I don't know what to do. He is secretive with facebook and his phone but when I've asked him about it he just says he likes his privacy.

How can I make this better? and start to trust him? It's ruining our relationship.

View related questions: cheated on me, facebook, got back together

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A male reader, PeterPan United States +, writes (22 February 2009):

PeterPan agony auntThere's probably two ways to look at this: are you completely open with BF about your electronic communications? ...or does he take it at face-value that he has nothing to fear? Trust, especially after a known episode of cheating is difficult to recover from. But, it would seem that the last 3 years have shown that he may have abandoned that less than desirable trait.

...then there's the other point of view: although we are social creatures and desire contact, there's still a need to have some level of privacy, don't you think? That privacy is a contributing factor to psychologically necessary to maintain your personality and nobody should be required to reveal every piece of their lives... it's sort of like nobody can be 100% honest 100% of the time.

Have you made your boyfriend aware that the secretive nature on Facebook and his phone is sabotaging your relationship? Have you proposed a solution to him? I guess I'm hinting that perhaps you should consider negotiating with him if you are serious about maintaining your relationship, you need to find a happy medium.

Maybe you should ask yourself what it is that you can do to build trust with him. I did a very fast Google search and found these two articles that might help you:

http://www.wikihow.com/Build-Trust

http://www.wikihow.com/Convince-Someone-to-Trust-You-Again

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