I don't trust him and I think he's cheated!!

A female age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Hi there.. I need some advice. I've been with my boyfriend a year, I have known him for a long time and have known that in most if not all of his previous relationships he has cheated. We have a great relationship most of the time, have a lot in common and he is great with my little girl. However, when he is drunk he changes into a complete idiot, he ignores me completely and flirts with other women and acts as though he's a fee agent.. This is when I'm with him so obviously I wonder what he's like when I'm not around!! I don't usually say anything as I'm not really a jealous person but he does really concern me.. We have talked about it when he's sober and he admits he's an idiot but swears he'd never disrespect me by cheating... Last weekend he went out for his uncles birthday and said he was coming back to mine afterwards.. He txt me when hd got off the train and asked me where I was and what I was up to, I said I was in the house having a few drinks with a few of our friends and to come over.. This was about 10.30pm... I didn't hear back from him so assumed he'd gone for a few more drinks. I called him about midnight, no reply, I still wasn't concerned as I thought he would see my missed call and call me back... Anyway I sent a few txts over the next few hours - just nice ones like 'hope your havin fun and can't wait to see you' still no reply, I called him and it was busy, so my call was waiting... No call back, then I called and he hung up on me twice! By this time I was startin to stress thinking he's drunk and picked up some girl... Anyway I went to be about 3:30am before sending another txt asking him just to call as I was worried, but nothing!! The next day he txt me at midday... Saying hey babes, how's things? Ard u up and about? I didn't reply as I thought I'd play him at his own game and thought he should have called rather than txt, 3pm he called so j answered and he said why didn't I txt himmback... So I went crazy and said why didn't you call last night?? Where dud u go etc.. He said I was being childish and oversensitive but wasnt reassuring me that he didn't cheat... I was crying my eyes out and asked him to come over so we could talk... He wouldn't come... I was gutted. We sent some txts back and fore and he was saying sorry I'm upset and all that but one that got me was ' I would never intentionally do anything to hurt you' ... What?? Anyway when he did finally come over on the Monday he wouldn't talk about it saying I was nagging!! I just wanted reassurance!! I've tried to let it go and it's been a week and I still can't shake the feeling.. We had a few drinks Friday and his dad made a joke about whether he came back to mine last weekend and then they all laughed... I felt so humiliated, afterwards my boyfriend was drunk and acting all weird so I confronted him again and he said I was silly bla bla... Then I said so who did u take home last weekend and he said jokingly Aaah just some slag from town.. Then haha shut up and stop going on!! What the he'll am I suppose to do, I really can't get over this hunch I have or am I just being paranoid and letting it ruin my relationship... I admit I do have some insecurities from bring hurt in previous relationships but I think this is only a small factor and in being messed around!! Help someone... I love this guy so much but can't trust him at all !!!

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A female reader, please help me  +, writes (6 March 2011):

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011):

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