A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ever since i was sexually assaulted at 15, ive found it hard to trust guys. sometimes i still trust the ones that i shouldn't and don't trust the ones that i should. im really confused, ever since that day i've hated myself. i've hated what i look like, my voice everything about me i hate. and without it being intentional...i push guys away. i need help with this!! i don't know what to do. if its true that you can't love someone to the full possible extent without loving yourself first...i'll never be like that unless i get some help and ideas. i don't know what to do and any ideas, suggestions and options on what to do is so greatly appreciated! thankyou so much Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2011): The first thing you really need to get is that it wasn't your fault, no more than the colour of your eyes have anything to do with you.
Have you told anyone about being sexually assaulted? You need to get some help with this, I am not sure where you are but I found this link, http://www.nswrapecrisis.com.au/index.htm if this doesn't help, google for your area.
I know it's scary, you can get through this one step at a time.
A
male
reader, Dlawube  +, writes (15 June 2011):
 Hey dear, it ok to feel the way you do, but you have to move on and leave your past behind. Try to forgive who ever assauited you and catch up with the present to enjoy your life.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (15 June 2011):
 Why do you hate yourself? Its not your fault and you shouldn't beat yourself up about it.
I used to have real confidence issues too, hated the way I looked and what not, so I started to do something about it I go to the gym, I eat healthily and tan on the sunbeds lol (yes I'm straight before people ask) and it makes me feel better about myself, because I look good.
As for the loving yourself part, that's very true, and maybe I love myself a little too much at the minute lol....spoil yourself, get your hair done, manicure and pedicure and a spa treatment or something else to make yourself feel and look good! Remember to always look after number 1, because nobody else will!
And sure, its hard to trust guys because about 60% are douchebags who will lie and cheat on girls at every opportunity they get, keep your eye out for the good ones, who show feelings towards you through ACTIONS and not words as its very, very easy for a guy to tell a woman what they want to hear so that they can get into their pants I.e 'but he told me he loved me' etc etc.
Remember, look after yourself first, do things to boost your confidence like pampering and treating yourself and the most important thing is actions and not words.
Hope things work out for you! Good luck! :)
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