A
female
age
30-35,
*limtrim107
writes:Hey its me again.I've been hurt by guys from time I started having boyfriend Which is at 19 .I have never had a real boyfriend before until now,I'm someone who likes older guys but this one I have now is only 20 and doesn't seem to be what I want. I gave him a chance cause my mom always say " love who loves u" not who u love Cuz they always hurt u in the end, this guy people he is crazy about me he would do anything to see me smile, but I'm not sure if I love him as much as he loves me.I feel lonely at times as if I'm missing so much in life I feel as if he isn't the one for me, I've even started flirting and chatting other guys Cuz I feel like my boyfriend isnt what I want, I don't know what to do I don't wanna hurt him Cuz he only sees me in his life. He alone I've ever had who made me feel loved and respected I don't wanna leave him Cuz I keep thinking its he alone in life I could ever get to treat me so loved and I dont wanna b the cause to his heartbreak. Its been 6 months we're together and I can't complain but I haven't fell in love with him as much as he is for me I'm really confused and need help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2014): I thought he was a great catch when we first met and we clicked right from the start. 10 years later, still together and happily in love.here's what you said about your boyfriend "doesn't seem to be what I want""I gave him a chance cause my mom always says""I feel like my boyfriend isnt what I want""I don't wanna hurt him Cuz he only sees me in his life"You're with him because you feel you have to rather than because you want to. It's only a matter of time until you become really miserable.After 6 months of going out, what 'pleasant' surprises can you find about him that will make you instantly swoon? Probably not many.At 19, the world is your oyster and you do not have to worry about not being able to find someone else. You do not have to worry that noone else will love you. You attracted him didn't you? So you will attract others!Be brave and break up with him, allow you both to meet someone who'll make you happy. He will not be happy for much longer with the way you are dissatisfied. Eventually, he will become resentful.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 February 2014):
 I don't agree with your mother in terms of loving someone who loves you IF you don't feel that way about them.
and while in some cases a person loving you leads you to love them (happened with me in some ways) I do not think that after 6 months of giving it a good try (like you have been doing) that you don't know. YOU KNOW.. he is not the one for you.
If you are after 6 months looking at others... yep he does not do it for you and it's better to end it with him.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 February 2014):
Some people feel passion when the other person makes them chase them and work for their affection. Maybe your boyfriend is too nice?
Your mom is kind of right. If you find your boyfriend attractive and he treats you great, that's a good start. If he's boring or dumb then those could be some serious issues, but if you can't really put your finger what the problem is, then the problem could be with you.
Give it some more time, see what happens. Stop cheating. Work on your relationship, try to develop the feelings that are missing. If after another few months nothing changes then let him go gently.
It's good that you're sympathetic to his feelings.
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A
male
reader, Gauntlet  +, writes (27 February 2014):
 Love does not come on command. If you don't love your current boyfriend, and as you're already looking for someone else, be honest with him and terminate as soon as possible your relationship before cheating on him. It will surely be sad for him, but if everything is done the gently way, you too will be in the "clear zone". The best is always to avoid hurting and humiliating people.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2014): hun, it takes waayyy more than just six months to fall in love with someone! i think you should wait for a while. my mum says that saying too. but i don't understand it. i mean, if everyone's gonna go for someone that loves them, who would they find? because everyone else would be thinking the same thing. that's what i don't get''' but yeah, just wait a bit. i'd say at least a year, but you can never stop falling in love with someone. not when you've started to fall in actual love.
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