A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 28 he's 31 we've been married 3 years now. we haven't had sex in over a year, we kiss hello and he helps me around the house and stuff we don't talk much unless it's house or bills related. I suspect that he's seeing someone and when i asked him once he said yeah and he was going to leave me for her(not sure if he was joking or not). A month ago he even asked me to leave and i said no. i have been thru two car accidents this year and have a lot of back pain. he always tays by and helps goes with me to the doctor and stuff. I have to have major surgery and this has brought us closer. I think the only reason he sticks around is coz I am helping him get his greencard. He is generally a nice guy and will take care of his responsibility. I don't think he is in love with me. Should I care? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): alarm bell went off when you mentioned "greencard" . i think you know the answer. i also think you know the answerto the cheating aspect. yes he is cheating, and only using you to get his greencard. he stays so that you do not get frustrated and kick his sorry ass out on the street and bye bye to greencard. i think you need to decide whether him treating you crappy is worth it or whether you actually deserve some happiness and peace. maybe to test him, ask for a trial seperation..........if he is only concerned about citizenship it will be revealed. oh,and make sure they deport him afterwards. and quickly.
A
female
reader, Lucky-n-Luv +, writes (12 June 2009):
Yes, of course you should care. It seems to me as if your lives has fallen into the state of routine. Maybe you should try something new and exiciting just to spice things up. And if this method fails leave him, you've been married for 3 years giving your best, and not only that but you've been in two accidents in 1 year. I wish you the best in whatever you decide but just never too late to learn your worth and if you feel he's not worth having you trust me he's not your soulmate and maybe you should move on!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2009): Yes. Because marraige is different than it used to be and still is in some places; it's not about responsibilty and duty. It's love. This is the man you married and are therefore are supposed to be with for the rest of your life. You need to be loved and you need to love someone. It's one of the first of our needs on Maslow's Heiarchy. Without love and emotional fulfillment, we cannot really be complete as human beings.
Honey my heart goes out to you. you need to move on from this marriage though. It sounds like you are both pretty much just hangin around.. not really for the love at all. Once he gets his greencard, you should separate and let both of you be happy.
It sounds like your communication is about zero.
I'm very sorry to hear this.
Goodluck,
~SY.
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