A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Lately my relationship with my boyfriend has been awful. I'm always a bitch to him for no reason, and we always fight about stupid things.Today I was at his house and I saw some a text message on his phone from a girl named Sarah that said "call me when you get this" and another one later that said "i'm still waiting"I asked who she was and he looked surprised and said he didn't know anyone named Sarah, and he didn't know. After i asked him again, he said that she works at the grocery he goes to. I asked why he had her phone number, and after stumbling, he said that she was interested in buying a car from his work (he doesn't directly sell cars, he's a mechanic).I asked him why they were text messaging each other and he said that he texted her about a joke they talked about today when he went to the grocery store. I didn't ask him about why she wanted him to call her, or if he did though.I'm really upset. Not about him talking to her, just about lying and being suspicious about it.I don't think he's cheating on me, I just don't think he's being honest.
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (23 June 2008):
 I would agree that he's not exactly being "up front" about things from this example. Granted, he's not telling you everything that's going on in his life and you don't honestly believe that he's cheating on you. I mean, there are a lot of specious things about text messages, but before you jump off the deep end, maybe you should ask why it's upsetting you so much. Could it be that he would assume that you would be upset (which you are) or is it that he didn't think this was worth mentioning.
Here's a story that kind of parallels yours. My (now ex) wife was looking at my cellphone records. She found one number that she didn't recognize so she decided to Google it (if you didn't know, sometimes your number shows up on pages -- you might want to check it out if you're concerned about your privacy). Well, the number led to a Craigslist ad for selling a car. Without asking me about it, my wife thought I was trying to secretly sell my car and buy something else. Reality was something all together different. I am a fashion photographer and one of the models I was working with was selling her car so the number showed up in Google. She made all kinds of accusations about me, but was wrong on every count. In her case, her suspicion made her jump to wrong conclusions. I told you all this because maybe you are also jumping to the wrong conclusions. Just a thought you should consider.
Best wishes and I hope that you and your boyfriend find a way around this issue. Perhaps having a heart-to-heart with him directly might smooth out some of the suspicion that's brewing between you. At the very least, it might be a way to clear some of those little issues that keep popping up in your path to happiness together.
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