A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 28 years old and married 6 years before. I have a 5 year old daughter. My problem is that all these married life not even once I had orgasam. I am frustrated these days. We do lot of foreplay but of no use and I think he ejaculates very fast. I had sexual intercourse in my younger days arround 12 before the arival of mensus with my cousin who was 13 then. During a span of 6 months we had sex with full penetration 6 or 7 times and except for the first time we both had orgasam though we were kids. This incident proves that the defect is with my husband and how to solve it?
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cousin, ejaculate, foreplay, orgasm Reply to this Question
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female
reader, 123emma  +, writes (28 May 2008):
Maybe your not relaxed with him enough. Also, can you orgasm by yourself? See how you do this, is it with clitoral stimulation or your G spot, both, other stuff also etc? Then see what positions etc would stimulate these and get him to help, research on the net etc.
If its a problem where your not totally relaxing for example kids in the other room, tired from work etc then maybe make time just for you and him, relaxing and taking things slowly. x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): I think the problem is with you. May be you are a passive partner in sex. Some times you have to take initiative in sex. After foreplay when you are arosed and feel like having penetration don't make him go on top but you go on top, insert and do it in a pressing or grinding manner(without much pumping up and down) thru which your clitoris also will get rubbed and I am sure you will reach orgasm much earlier than your husban. Too much of pumping up and down will speed up the climax in men. Since the sensory nerves for female are concentrated in clitoris,labia, arround vaginal entry and G.spot pressing and grinding action will climax you. Also try other positions whereby you initiate the movement. Also talk to him when you reach orgasm. Let him know about it. One more advise. Never ever tell your husband about the sex you had when you were small though you cannot forget those experience. Any person having sex during childhood will nerver forget that experience. Through research we have found that.Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): The problem is with you, you need to tell/show your husband what to do to make you reach orgasm.
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A
female
reader, sfrancis  +, writes (27 May 2008):
 Speaking on this subject we can give out wrong advice because there maybe a health problem that is unfounded as of yet. As well as it can be a mind problem with you. Iit can also be very unfair to blame this on your husband. As the others have said sex at a very young age when one is unprepared for the results can put a scar on ones mind. Your thoughts of a healthy sex life can be blocked from your mind. Do your husband know of your before childhood sex life? Have you been honest with him? This can surely cause you to have problems in your marriage if you have him thinking something that is not true. You see you must first found freedom from your pass so that you can have a future. His problem can be coming from you because he may feel that something is troubling you. And he may feel that it is him. And sometime this can mess with his ego and it can be very unfair to him. (I know myself what I am talking about I lost my husbands but is now married again and I try to share every thing with him.) I would like to say to you if it could be done, talk to your husband share your pass with him, but first steal away for some time to be with the lord, just you and him, be real. Tell it to him and don’t hold back. If you have to write God a letter and write it from your heart ask him for the help you need. Tell him about your pass sex life and your present and if you have not gotten the forgiveness that you need ask for it. I will be praying for you and your husband’s happiness and a very sexy marriage. God loves marriage and he said the marriage bed is good.
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A
female
reader, egyptian  +, writes (27 May 2008):
Penetrational sex alone cant make alot of woman experience a G- spot orgasm( despite the size of the partnerer's penis). I am one of them. A Technique that always works for me is stimulating my clitoris,(that is rubbing your clitoris with your fingers) while he is inside. Honey believe me once you try it you will want to have more sex than you have ever had in your life!
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A
female
reader, aphexinfinite +, writes (27 May 2008):
 i think you need to please yourself before blaming your husband on the matter to rule out all angles..see if you can bring yourself to climax. and as emivia says what you did in your past may in your mind be wrong and be putting you off from being able to climax so look at all your possiblities. try and relax when you are pleasing yourself let positive thoughts flow through you close your eyes and let go of everything and enjoy yourself. then if you can manage on your own then try and get your partner to help you the way you like it. and if to no avail talk to your gp about this as its obviously a problem for you.. thats my opinion aphexy
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A
female
reader, edsbabygirl +, writes (27 May 2008):
 The problem is not with your husband. The problem is with you. I had that problem for a while. But then I got on top. I found a way that we both could be happy. Maybe you should try experimenting more positions too. It worked for my relationship. Get on his lap. Try that. Tell me how it works for you. Does he get a good hard on? That could be half the problem.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Let your husband use the vitamin E supplement. This will generate enuff hormone to get him up and stay longer wihout premature ejaculation which switces off wn he comes. And ur body system needs to be worked harderd than oter women to get u to orgasym. Moreovr u ned to communicate with him and lead him on on waht to do to u when u are sloshing. it helps well. ur bodies are different and some men are not observant with their women.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2008): Maybe the problem is not with your husband. Maybe it is within your own mind. Were you caught when you were small and told that it was bad? Or were you made to feel guilty about doing it?
Do you feel ashamed about it now?
If the answer is yes to any of these questions then it could be a barrier in your mind that is preventing you from reaching climax. Counselling may help this.
Try masturbating. Get to know your own body again. Most women have to be able to please themselves before a man can please them. Try a shower-head on your clitorus.
If your husband is coming too fast then there are various things you can do. When he feels as though he is about to come he can pull out and please you with his fingers. Then when he has cooled off a little, have penetration again. If you hold the base of his penis then it can help prevent him from coming.
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