A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for 4-5 months.We get along really well, I fancy the absolute pants off him and still feel in that 'honeymoon' period even though we are settling into the comfortable phase of our relationship. When I'm with him I feel like I can't keep my eyes or hands off him (not in a naughty way, I just love running my fingers through his hair, or touching his face/ear/whatever). He's the same with me.But I find, weirdly, when I'm not with him, that I don't miss him as much as I should/used to, and sometimes I feel like I could live without him altogether n(as in, if he walked away) - which I know I couldn't/don't want to, as about a month ago we went through a couple of weeks of arguing and both decided to walk away, but then after a few days apart realised we didn't want to be apart!I have noticed that we have cooled off a little, as in, in the beginning we had to be together 24/7, literally, then we realised that wasn't a great thing in the long run and started spending more time doing our own things, but still making time for each other. He's definately not as intense as he was in the beginning (neither am I), which I assume is what happens when you start getting comfortable in a relationship (I should add that I was in a loooong term relationship and then was single for a year before getting with my current boyfriend).So why do I feel like this when I'm not with him? I'm mad about him...I don't know if it is because I am quite independant, or my work-life has become a bit busier lately and I don't have as much free time...I don't want it to be a bad sign for our relationship!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI do feel like I am falling in love with him, I wouldn't want us to break up, I just enjoy my time apart. I guess you're right and we're just maturing...I'm 25 btw, and he's 23.
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2008): I think sometimes, it's a natural progression of relationships; it just doesn't stay as hot as it does at the beginning (usually!). You were previously in a long term relationship, and I imagine the same thing happened, so you probably know it isn't abnormal for things to cool off a little. But you know what? That's probably fine! I imagine, as a part of maturing, I don't think couples need to miss each other all the time. Falling head over heels yes, needing to see each other ALL the time, spending each waking moment with one another is often a symptom of younger couples who fall in love... but as you get older, I feel love becomes a different matter than simply needing to see each other.I think being able to respect each other's space, allowing each other to grow as people, is something I would do for someone, as someone "older" and still in love (not saying you're in love, lol, just for sake of simplicity here). Love can be expressed in different ways, it means different things at different phases of your life, and right now, I think giving each other space, as well as sharing in some of it as well, are both equally important.Mind you, you're still 22-25 (I imagine he's quite young as well), you still need to find your bearings, where you belong in life, your goals,everything. We can't choose when to meet certain people in different phases of our lives; maybe you'll grow apart, maybe you'll grow together, who knows. Enjoy the moment for what it is, and if you ever find your paths differ, then have the decency, respect (and give him the dignity) of being able to discuss it openly and walk away, if that day comes, it's really all a guy can ask for. So long as you feel he's the right guy for you, stick with him, so long as he's sticking with you. I wish you the best :3
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): I think that maybe you still enjoy the time to yourself and that deep deep DEEP down you may miss him (maybe a little), but you like being able to have have your own space. I've been with my boyfriend for a little over two years and I absolutely do love him, but when we're apart for a while for whatever reason I don't really miss him because I love having some time to myself.
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female
reader, bayleex +, writes (10 May 2008):
 Sounds like to me that you don't actually love him yet... you just love being around him. (i apoligise if you think that is wrong of me to assume) But that is natural to feel if you don't love him.
The fact that you had been arguing may of added to this feeling because you may of prepared yourself for the worse.
But its a natural feeling everyone goes through this
Sorry again if you think i was out of term.
xx Baylee xx
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