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female
age
51-59,
*ulla
writes: I hate my life and i keep following what other people are doing with there lives and not living my own. I am 52 years old, had my kids so young and settled down at 22. I regret not living my life, hate myself for settling so young and I’ve paid the price for it. I see my kids travelling, going out having fun, having friends and enjoying life. I wish I was them and young again and wouldn’t of settled down as I did. I don’t know how to live my life for me instead I follow what my kids or other peoples lives what they are doing. I get jealous if I see my kids go on holiday even thou I go on holiday and if our kids partners family have a lovely home and money I get jealous and want to be like them. I can’t turn the clock back but I don’t know how to stop thinking what other people are doing and how there lives are and to live my own. I hate being old now and wasting my life. I would really love to change my life and start living but I don’t know how to. Sometimes I think I shouldn’t read my kids messsges on WhatsApp when they send them do I won’t get jealous especially when they are doing fun things and enjoying life but I can’t ignore them forever. I think because I had my kids so young I don’t know how to care for me now or ever have. How can I stop living other peoples lives and wishing I had there life instead of living my own. Can it be done.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2023): If you're still with your husband, why don't you have a talk with him about some of this stuff? Now that your kids are out of the house, you have time to make some plans of your own. You can't start life from scratch in your 50's. You first stop and count all your own blessings. No matter how small.
Get off social media for a few weeks. Use the time to make some feasible plans; and consider some hobbies or activities for yourself; and make some inclusive of your husband. Get a complete physical-examination to make sure you're not suffering from depression, or any untreated hormonal-issues associated with menopause. Check with your doctor about any side-effects from your medications that may cause depression.
It's pretty common to look back over your life when you've reached the 50 mark. You're not alone when it comes to wishing you could have done this, or could have done that. You'll, in-effect, diminish your self-worth and personal-contributions by comparing yourself to others. Letting jealousy and envy overtake your thoughts. You've created all that regret and stuff in your head. You can't turnback time.
We start-out making a lot of plans and dreams when we're young; and sometimes life or obstacles get in the way. It's a new year, you can start from where you are now. Think about how you have touched the lives of people you love.
Go and do some things that will make Sulla happy, not what you see everybody else doing. Be ungrateful for what you do have. Being ungrateful and envious is how most people feel really bad about their lives. They'll overlook and forget about all their small achievements they've made, all the blessings they have received, and forget how they have touched the lives of others that made them love you.
Our words won't change your life. We can't remove your regrets. It might help if you stop studying everybody else, and maybe focus a little more on positive things that touch your life; and begin to make some plans and setting some goals for yourself. You're too nosy, and into everybody else's business. Get out of your head, off your butt, and away from social media. Do something for Sulla, and appreciate even the smallest delights and pleasures. Life is short, my dear. Sulking about being young again is wasting the time you could better be using coming-up with some ideas to improve your quality of life.
Start with a full medical-examination and discuss any medications you're on with your doctor.
God bless you, Sulla! Happy New Year!
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