A
female
,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for 21 months now. Our sex life was great at first, however over the last 12 months it just seems to have fizzled out. My partner has a very high sex drive and it seems like i don't anymore. Whenever he comes on to me i blow him out and will use any excuse possible to get out of it. I'm tired, i dont' feel well etc... I just can't be bothered sleeping with him or doing anything remotely sexual. It just seems like too much hard work. I don't know what is wrong with me, but it is driving us apart. I could live without sex, but he can't. We're both 22 and i know things should be different at our age. It really gets my partner down, which then also gets me down because i start to feel guilty. It causes huge arguments and it is slowing splitting us up. I don't know what my problem is becasue i love him so much and find him very attractive. I want to spend my life with him, but if i carry on like this, i won't be able to. Please help. Thanks. x
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2005): Remember, this is very common with many, many women to have no real desire to have sex, and their minds are not turned on by the prospect of lovemaking. I think it's sensible to begin by going to your doctor who can discuss the problem with you and do any necessary tests. But a very good alternative is to go to a woman doctor at
planning clinic, since these practitioners deal with this particular problem every day of the week and are used to sorting it out. If psychological or relationship factors are predominant, it may well be worth going to Couples Counseling with your partner. You need to sort out - with the aid of an expert - what's causing your loss of libido, and then take the appropriate action. Far more important than any remedy is to have the support and understanding of a partner who wants to help you defeat the problem.
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