A
female
age
30-35,
*odaii
writes: Help me!I don't know why I'm so jealous!Im 15, bi and really fancy my best friend. She knows i like her but she doesnt like me that way. however, i find myself really jelous when my other best friend goes round to hers, or shopping with her, or hangs round with her at lunch, or even sits next to her when im in the same class and cant.Last night she went to a party with a load of guys and a few other friends. I spent the whole night worrying shed do something she dusnt want to do. She had told me that if they tried anything shes knock them out then tell them shes gay, but im petrified she's pulled someone or done more.i saw her today at the train station, but she didnt see me, i was on a train. I even felt jealous of her dad who she was talking to, and i feel really worried because she looked really miserable.What can I do? I want to stop being so jelous and worried all the time! Her best friends hate me and Im really jelous tat she hangs round with them as aposed to me, but please, can you help me? I want to get over her and stop being so jelous of everyone, its just not me!PLease, if you know how i can stop being jelous and worrying too much about her, please please tell me!Thank you! xx
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jodaii +, writes (15 March 2009):
jodaii is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDidn't I mention she is also bi, and we have messed around a bit in the past? This is definatly not my first crush, ive known i was gay since I was 11! I give her loads of space, Ive stopped hanging round with her at lunch and stuff, because I know her friends hate me, and it kills me inside to see them together, but im doing it to make her happy. i have the best bunch of friends apart from her, and they've been so supportive of the fact I've been chucked out by my mother for being gay, and i now live at my other best friends house! I love my best friends more than anyone in the world, but i just cant help worrying just a little more than normal when i see this one friend so miserable! I'm not obsessing over hera nd I certainly dont ask for all her atention! All I want is to get over her so I can go back to being just friends, but its hard because she is bi, and we still mess around a bit when drunk or hyper or to help eachother if we end up with mad dates who we need to convince that we are gay! Thats why its so hard!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): if you keep obsessing over her you'll push her away and lose her friendship as well as anything elsed that may blossom. I advise you to let this girl get on with her life, and maybe you should make some new friends as well as her
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): She doesnt like you, grow up ur making a big deal out of nothing, be nice too her be her friend than not in her life at all JELOUSEY WILL DRIVE YOU MAD crazy mad!
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A
female
reader, Good Girl +, writes (14 March 2009):
Okay calm down if you can get to a bookstore get The Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. It is wisdom that no one should be without. My best friend actually gave me this book years after I told her that I thought I was in love with her in a very similar situation. For immediate relief, repeat to yourself that love and friendship, when true, only thinks of the beloved's happiness, not their own.If you continue to become more possessive you will lose her friendship. I really think these feelings have more to do with how you feel about yourself than about her. You need to try to appreciate the qualities in yourself that make you a good friend and person. Remember, you should be happy when she's happy, but no one is responsible for your happiness but you. She can't make you happy all the time, and you can't do that for her all the time. Love yourself and everything will fall into place. I wish you peace.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2009): You are obssessed with your best friend. You need to stop it. Is she your first crush? She doesn't like you like that. She likes boys and has other friends so she can't give you all her attention. Maybe you should find other friends. Keep yourself busy so you mind doesn't wander.You'll get over her soon. Good luck.
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