A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have a serious problem im in love with two guys. Guy:A i have known for a few years as friends and about 3-4 months ago he asked me out since then we've been going out and its his first real relationship. since we started dating he has hurt me several times and lied about loving me. Guy:B i met a few weeks before A we became really come friends and even got to the point where we were going to go out but my parents refused, now we are friends with benifits he has not hurt me in any way and has completely forgiven me for everytime i have hurt him, he has even given me gifts when i have given him non i guess you could say he is what is considered the perfect boyfriend he has been in multiple relationships in the past one of which ended in him being cheated on because of me he even refused sex with one of his ex girlfriends for me. i just dont know who i love more and how to tell which i love more and if it is Guy: B then how do i go about convincing my parents to allow it? Please Please Please help any help would be greatly appreciated XOXO J
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female
reader, mcbirdie +, writes (25 June 2007):
 You don't actually have to choose, you know. I think people always think that there has to be some big decision making process where they list pros and cons of each guy and then tally the results to choose--you are young. So long as you are being honest with both of them, and protecting yourself health-wise, I would suggest not forcing the decision until it happens naturally.
Often it is the push to make a decision that makes us choose poorly. From your description, Guy A sounds pretty dreadful. But it is nearly guaranteed that if you choose Guy B, you'll suddenly remember Guy A as being so wonderfully passionate and just what you need. You'll end up screwing up a good relationship because you miss what you think you had. So don't. Enjoy them both, tell them what you are doing, and eventually--either one of them will push for a decision (at which point, do--it is unfair to not give them a clear answer) or you'll realize which one you prefer.
Dating doesn't have to be as traumatic and dramatic as they make it seem in the movies. Relax, take your time, and be honest. You'll figure out which one you prefer in time.
Best of luck.
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