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female
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*vlsAngls
writes: Please Help Me !!! I have been in a relationship with this guy for about a month now and it's not going so well. I was trying for a long time to go out with this guy and now I'm finally going out with him , But the problem is he treats me like crap and I don't know if it's just me being a bad girl friend or if it's him. See he seems to only want to see me when it is convenent for him. He never comes to anything on time and he can't have a serious conversation with me. I love him with all my heart and there are some days where I just think I need to brake up with him but I'm afraid that Im going to hurt myself if I do it. Should I stay or get out ?*DvlsAngls* Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2006): There is a Really good book called, "He's Just Not That Into You." It Really hurts... but you need to realize that the reason you tried for so long is that he's not that into you. I went through this same thing... for a Lot longer. Four years, even. And, in the end, I was hurt over and over and over. And I know exactly how you feel when you say you're afraid you'll hurt yourself. Because of the pain, and feeling like you're losing something special, and it FEELS like... there is something wrong with You! But there isn't.
I Finally gave up and move on. Actually, he finally dumped me (not the first time), and picked someone that was a Real loser, and in the end had a Miserable life for himself. After I was so hurt, again, that I could barely stand it, I was finally able to step back and realize how much better off I was. Gradually, I began to recognize how I was appreciated and cared about -- by people I respected and cared about. Then, I found someone Truly special. You will, too.
We don't change because people tell us to. We change because we feel we don't have a choice. Or, because we see others doing better than we are doing. You don't have much choice where you are -- he's not good. And, look around... you can do a lot better, too. For you.
(I'd even bet that if you have friends or family in your life you care about, that they are already trying to warn you about this loser. If so, I hope you'll take heed of their feelings. And get away without having to go through even more pain.)
Good luck to you - and God Bless.
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female
reader, sexseahot  +, writes (4 April 2006):
 Honey, you've only been with him a month. He obviously isn't what you expected he should be like. He seems so rude and careless. You deserve better then him. No matter how long you were chasing him, you got him and now you don't need him. You found out how he really is and that definitely isn't what you need. You need to find someone better. Maybe he thinks he can treat this way because he knows you don't want to leave him. Don't let him do this to you. You are better than that and you can always find someone else that will treat you soooo much better than he ever could.
Good Luck!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 April 2006): Sometimes people aren't what we make them out to be. Sounds like you had been chasing this guy for quite sometime; maybe you've built up an unrealistic image of who he is. Is it possible you're in love with the guy you want him to be, not who he really is?Every women deserves to be respected; that means their partners show up on time, treat them well and communicates with them. Put your own feelings first and make the best decision (to try to work things out or break up) for yourself.
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female
reader, shania  +, writes (4 April 2006):
 You have already been going out with this fella for just a month....but already the rot has set in.Im sorry to say this but your boyfriend,really doesn't care about you at all....he turns up late...he cannot hold down a conversation,only wants to see you when it suits him.The man is a loser....dump him now before you end up killing him!
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male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (4 April 2006):
 You have to weigh the hurt breaking up would cause against the hurt he is causing you now. If things dont change then you are going to find this hurt goes on along time too. The hurt of breaking up is painful but it is the beginning of an end.
However there could be options before breaking up. Have you told him how you feel? It sounds to me like he takes your affection and loyalty for granted, maybe you could try and turn the tables, be late for once so he doesnt take things so for granted. Often you will find that people, once given a taste of how they are treating somebody and not liking it themselves, become more receptive to complaints about how they treat you.
Ultimately it is your call and you have to go with what you feel is right. Hope that helps. Take care.
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