A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in a a quandary with an ex girlfriend and would appreciate some thoughts on what to doWe went out for 18 months and had a great first year together, whilst we lived apart by 200 miles that never made a difference as we spoke daily and met most weekends and shared in so many things together. In all we were both in love and had so much hope. After a year i became upset with the way she treated some people and that was reflected in how i treated her as she then got hostile and aggressive with me at times. I talked with her about these upsetting things and that helped a lot and we always got back on track. We continued from then having needless arguments and after one of them it must have broken my belief in us and we started to drift apart and late last year we both ended it.In the past 4 months she's seen a therapist (something i'd always suggested would be helpful when we were going out) and as we've kept in email contact she told me some 2 months ago that she misses me still and has so much to say to me, she is also still very hurt by us ending. I told her that I miss her also and that i've found us parting difficult as well and suggested that we meet and talk ..... she said that she would think about meeting (we've not met since we split) as she's very protective of her heart and that was 7 weeks ago, since then i've given her lots of space and only emailed her when she's made contact. She has remained illusive on meeting though last weekly indicated that she might be in the same town as me soon so we could go for a walk togetherI'm fairly emotionally mature but recognise I was at much at fault in our downfall by being cold and unconditional when we argued. I've no idea if she's seeing anyone, i'm single and this is holding me back from moving forward either with or without her. I've found the past 2 months difficult as this has been on my mind almost all the time and has impacted my sleep and health - thus appreciate thoughts on what to do.I've two questions - what do you think she's experiencing and what's the best thing for me to do .............. Thanks Tony
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2008): If she is going to therapy she knows she has a problem and is trying to help herself. If she truly wants to meet and try and work things out then I say go for it. If she keeps blowing it off she isnt ready and if you should wait for her is for you to determine. Ask yourself, if your best friend was going through this what would your advice to him be? If you guys talk, think about going to counseling together. Communication is key. hope this helps!
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