A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I started dating a guy a few weeks ago, but a few things are worrying me. He knows a few gay men. One of these men kept asking me and this man what was going on between us. He pestered us for ages. This man jokingly blew the gay man a kiss. Another time, we met another gay man who said that this man is a really nice man and I couldn't meet anyone better, but also said that he had tried to come on to the man I am dating once, but the man I am dating turned him down. It made me feel really uncomfortable. I would have felt just as uncomfortable if it had been a woman doing that too. Also, for some reason, I feel jealous of one of his ex girlfriends as she lived with him. She also had a son . It wasn't his child, but she brought him up as his own. He says he was heartbroken when she left him because he couldn't see that little boy anymore. I have never lived with anyone and I can't have children because I have mental health problems and Asperger's. I think they could get taken away from me if I had them. I don't know whether to still see this man or not. He has said that he has fallen in love with me.
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (15 March 2017):
 Straight men do joke with gay men if they are comfortable with their own sexuality believe me. Honestly if you feel insecure about him then you probably should end things with him.
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (8 March 2017):
 He only said he isn't gay so you won't turn him down. A straight man won't say "he's not my type," because that implies he does have a type. It's also weird that he would blow a kiss to a guy who he later wanted to punch. Sounds like he wanted to punch him because the other guy was trying to reveal his sexual identity which he's trying to cover up. He's hoping that by saying he loves you, that you would melt and forgo your suspicions.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 March 2017): He said he isn't gay and isn't judgemental of people. He also said that he either didn't hear what that man said about coming on to him once, or he must have ignored it. It was loud when we were talking in the club. He also said he would have punched him if he had heard it. The way he worded one of his text messages was weird though. He said "He's not my type, I like women really". He also said that he was offended that I thought that he could be interested in men, and said the only person he has feelings for is me. He has also already said that he loves me, but I'm not sure if he has said it too soon. I also don't think that straight men would joke around with gay men ( like when he blew a kiss jokingly to one of them another time when I was out with him).
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (7 March 2017):
 Sounds a little weird to me. If you are concerned about the gender identity of your new friend you might want to get that settled before your relationship proceeds to any next levels. there are serious consequences (aids for one) to be alarmed about.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (7 March 2017):
I see two concerns you have here. One is that he is bisexual and you worry whether he has the ability to concentrate on one person once he's in a relationship. Being bisexual absolutely does not mean one can't be faithful. You two have to build trust that when you are seriously dating. To do so you would prevent others from interfering your relationships, even just in conversations. The other issue is that he has a child and you worry about your parenting ability. This issue maybe too early to discuss. You should see if you can enjoy yourself with him, and if you can appreciate your time with him. The long term plans can come later. When you develop your confidence to the level that you can be the best parent you can be, then you are fit to be a parent. You don't just have a child then worry about him/her being taken away from you.
You don't mention what mental problems you have. If it's a desire to have alone time, or being socially awkward, this should not affect your relationship much if your partner can understand you. If it's anxiety or depression, then you really have to ask yourself if relationships are for you at this moment and if you can handle them, as they can add much to your stress if the person is not right for you. I would be cautious about him saying he had fallen in love at only a few weeks, at a time when you are still hearing about his gay guy friends. It should be a time you have the feeling of you two against the world. I am not the kind to jump to conclusions but I would venture to guess that he's the kind who's sexually attracted to men but emotionally attracted to women. For me, this reason alone is what would stop me from seeing him again.
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