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I don't know what to think anymore. Everytime I leave the house I feel like she is talking to someone else. Any thoughts?

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 October 2008) 5 Answers - (Newest, 2 October 2008)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi. My situation seems like a pretty common one. But I don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I have been dating 8 months and we moved in together after 3 months. At first everything was great and it only seemed to change a month ago. She now seems a little distant with me at times and when I come home sometimes she doesn't greet me and talk to me the way she used to.

Recently she went her friend and got drunk at her house. Later that night I saw that she had texted someone and she said "I miss you", also on her myspace she has been making plans to meet up with someone completly different on days when she is at school.

This person is an old high school friend but why doesn't she tell me about it? And then I see she added her ex-bf to her myspace and then she sent him a message. They had a nasty break-up, not sure why they would contact each other now. I don't know what to think anymore. Everytime I leave the house I feel like she is talking to someone else. Any thoughts or comments would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

View related questions: drunk, her ex, moved in, myspace, text

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008):

I am actually the person who posted this situation. So I asked her why she had added her ex to her myspace and she said he had sent the request. They aren't really talking about anything relevent. Just a sentence or two. Its weird because she talks about things down the road and about us. I'm not sure if her attitude had changed due to being back in school and picking up another job. I make her my top priority and I am always thinking about her, I don't know if it is vice-versa though. I think I'm up there but maybe not the top item on her list. I don't know what to think.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2008):

I am actually the person who posted this situation. So I asked her why she had added her ex to her myspace and she said he had sent the request. They aren't really talking about anything relevent. Just a sentence or two. Its weird because she talks about things down the road and about us. I'm not sure if her attitude had changed due to being back in school and picking up another job. I make her my top priority and I am always thinking about her, I don't know if it is vice-versa though. I think I'm up there but maybe not the top item on her list. I don't know what to think.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2008):

You can't make someone love you and she don't love you. She is looking elsewhere for love. Get rid of her and move on.

Good luck

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (1 October 2008):

You moved in together very quickly.

I think you need to sit her down and ask her about these things. Ask her what has changed.

It could be that your relationship is just winding down. 8 months is not a long time to be together and to be having these problems already.

If you want to try and save this then don't read into everything. Yes ask her about the text and her ex but "not greeting you in the same way" may just be something that happens as you get used to each other.

Good Luck!! xx

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A male reader, Thalor United States +, writes (1 October 2008):

For whatever reason the two of have grown apart. If you want it to work out you need to have a serious talk with her about it to figure out if your relationship is salvageable. Otherwise move on and find someone who will treat you right.

You are going to drive yourself crazy over these communications and behaviors if you do nothing. Trust me, I've been there and it is not pretty.

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