A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I’m friends with this guy from my A Level class. Back in March he asked me out and I said yes after the third attempt. I like him but I hesitated because I didn’t want to ruin our friendship that’s lasted 2 years now. After the date he said that he didn’t trust himself to be in a relationship and asked if we could still be friends. Thankfully we still were after going through an awkward phase. A week ago however I had my 18th masquerade birthday party, he came in a suit and looked really good but he couldn’t drink because of his driving test the next day. Half way in to the night I’m alone with him and he kisses me I would have thought it was alcohol but he hadn’t had a drink all night. When everyone was going home and he was waiting for his lift we were stood by the stream and he told me a looked beautiful and every other pretty word you could think of. I was too drunk to really respond or say thank you but then he had to go. I don’t understand it, I know he likes me as more than a friend but what’s he thinking.We talked on Facebook the next day and he came over to mine on the Saturday and he kissed me as soon as he came in through the door. We spent the day as if we were just good mates hanging out and he seemed really relaxed with the whole situation but he hasn’t talked to me since, I don’t know if he’s having second thoughts again like last time. I had to ask him last time and it wasn’t being clingee, it was 5 days later and I needed to know so our lesson together wasn’t weird. But know I don’t know what to do because he’s ignoring me again but I can tell he likes me and I like him so I don’t see the problem.
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female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (3 July 2012):
Hi there. He is probably thinking like you are, regards wondering whether it's wise to take your 2 year friendship to the next level of boyfriend and girlfriend status.
It seems clear that this could be the case, for sure.
So probably, it might be wise for both of you to sit down together, and have a chat about what you both want.
You clearly don't want to lose what you already have in a really good friendship, and then find that a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship doesn't work.
So you both see it as somewhat of a gamble.
The next time you are together - or perhaps you could have that chat at your house - then see what you both feel, and where you go from here.
There are definitely some mixed feelings here, and it's getting in the way.
Whatever you decide to do, don't risk losing the friendship altogether.
What you could do, is just take it very slowly and see how things develop over time - perhaps many months - before you finally decide on whether to take it to the next level.
Most committed relationships begin as good friends anyway.
You first need to be able to get along with someone really well, before you decide to become seriously involved with that person.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (2 July 2012):
 He is scared of something and am not sure what it is. Maybe he does not want to ruin the friendship he has with you or maybe he is scared of getting hurt, there is obviously something holding him back, and only he knows therefore the best thing to do is to talk to him again and ask him what is going on.
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