A
male
age
30-35,
*jzinc
writes:hi, i met this girl on an online game and we decided to chat on msn, then we really liked eachother and we are now in a relationship but i feel bad about it because we have never met and she lives really far away, i dont no what to do
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female
reader, lulababe +, writes (4 September 2008):
i agree with chiraven i met my fiance online april2007 we lived 350miles apart and we saw each other when we could and now today we have been together nearly 2yrs and are engaged and living together but most of all very happy.so long distant relationships do work as long as your willing to put the time and effort in to them.if you really like this girl arrange to meet and see how you feel when your together x
A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (4 September 2008):
 Sorry to disagree, Dr. V., but my lady and I have had a great thing going for about a year now and it shows very little sign of slacking off over any issues of distance. It's 359 miles from my door to hers (if you count one stop for gasoline somewhere in there), which I would consider fairly long distance. A solid six hour drive. We have our issues, just as we would have if we lived next door to one another. No relationship is perfect. But the distance is not a problem.
There can't be a relationship if you never meet, but the distance, as I said earlier, is just a matter of time and money. It can be solved, with determination.
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A
male
reader, Dr Vendetta +, writes (4 September 2008):
 "we are now in a relationship but i feel bad about it because we have never met "thats because its not a relationship. its called talking to someone you have never meet.long distance doesn't work. end of story. no ifs, no buts, no maybes. no worky.
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven +, writes (4 September 2008):
Every relationship needs some "together time" to keep it moving. It doesn't have to be much ... computer contact (especially video phone calls via Skype or one of the other free services) can do a lot to fill in. But you do need some time together.
Fortunately, Distance is only a function of time and money these days. And both can be saved up for. It's not unusual for people to be carrying on regular relationships over distances spanning hundreds or even thousands of miles these days. My girlfriend and I live 350 miles apart and see one another every other weekend (well, except this past month, when she and her daughter went on vacation ... which is very frustrating).
So talk things over with your girl. Assuming that both of you are adults (you didn't say, but we'll assume that), you should start to develop a plan on how you could get together. Which one of you could travel ... or could you arrange to meet somewhere in between (that's what my lady and I did the first time, both coming halfway). What will it take to finance such a trip and how long will it take you to get the money together? When can you both find the time? Where can the "traveler" stay?
Start working on these plans. It will be fun, and it will give the two of you a sense of mutual purpose that will help strengthen your relationship. You'll be working toward a common goal that both of you agree is important.
Yes, it probably will be difficult. It may even seem impossible at first. It may take a really long time. But I'll bet if the two of you really sat down and started planning you could work out a way that you can eventually get together.
The alternatives, of course, are continuing as you are (without getting together), or breaking up. And if you DON'T start to plan to get together, I predict that sooner or later you WILL break up.
Good luck.
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