A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i need some help.i have been in love with my best friend's boyfriend for nearly a year (i consider him to be one of my best friends too) and last night we went to a party together. his girlfriend and a male work friend of mine were supposed to come with us but couldn't make it.during the party we stayed in the same room as each other for most of the time but chatting to various people - he had promised to look out for me as he knows i'm quite shy and have a tendency to get a bit silly when i've been drinking.at sometime gone midnight some of the guests left and my friend found me for a drinking game in one of the bedrooms. i was already quite drunk by this point but i agreed, and i went upstairs with him and a pair of mutual friends.we played the game with bacardi shots and did silly dares and stuff for about an hour or so, then i started to feel way too drunk so my friend volunteered to look after me and he took me into a spare bedroom and laid me on the bed.he removed my shoes, put my feet up and then sat on the edge of the bed to talk to me and check i was ok. during this he was stroking my hair and kept his hand on the side of my waist. i began to complain of being sleepy so he said goodnight and then leaned down to kiss my forehead. i kept my eyes on him as he did this: he looked really lovely and i was so grateful that he was looking after me. he kissed me once on the top of my hair, on the forehead and then on my nose, then he kissed me once on the mouth. i only kissed him back for a second before turning my head away. we both realised it was wrong and felt guilty. as i was very drunk and i love him very much i started to cry. when he saw this he came and got into bed with me, cuddling me until i fell asleep. in the next morning i woke up in his arms and when he opened his eyes he smiled.normally we're quite a touchy-feely and playful group of friends anyway because we're really close. but I don't know if what happened at the party would be classed as cheating because of what preceded it.thank you. i would really like your opinions.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2007): I'm afraid your friendship just got all screwy.
Good luck with that, but it would be better if it hadn't happened. Perhaps if you two forget it happened, or manage to dismiss it, you three might be fine, but probably not.
And at your age, you really shouldn't be drinking. And as a girl, you really shouldn't be drinking with a guy. Always be out with an escort of girls. The more the better, and the safer your nights will be. If you persist in risky situations, you'll find yourself in this position a lot more often in the future.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (3 May 2007):
 It was a drunken kiss. You shouldn't have done it but you did and there's very little you can do to change that now. He's your best friend's boyfriend and however you feel for him you need to put him to the back of your mind. Best friends can't go around acting on their attraction for their friend's boyfriend. Talk to the guy. Tell him you don't think it's a good idea to tell your friend since it only happened once and because she's your best friend. Hopefully he'll agree and if he does then try your very best to move on and act the same around him as before. I know this isn't easy but part of the best friend contract is putting them before yourself and that's what you need to do here.
CD
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