A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to make of this guy I've been dating. It's been about 4 months. And so far we have both be just as willing and putting in the same effort. We meet up about once a week, go on a fun date, now and again twice a week. We started to be very coupley, and have stayed over at eachothers occassionally. We contact regularly, and all has been great.This weekend, we had a sat night out with a lot of my friends out, and sunday we were around a lot of his friends, all of them hinting nudging and winking at us, are they arent they... one mate introducing me to people as his girlfriend, and the other housemate pointed out via another story, that 'his friends were dating but nothing has been discussed' "maybe i shouldnt bring this topic up just now smiling at us'we havent discussed it once. Im now going to have to ask him about what hes thought about it all so far. I just felt really awkward. I can't make out whats going on at all. He's so guarded.I believe if a guy wants you he will not let you escape to the hands of another guy. But for all he knows I could be, since neither of us have said we are exclusive. But he's always so excited and plans really cool dates, and plans to see me in advance and good time. Agh. Any ideas? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHad the chat - was like pulling my teeth out. we are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 October 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI asked him if he was seeing/sleeping with anyone else at one point earlier on. He said a definite no. Then asked me the same thing puzzled. I said no. And because he was putting in lots of effort, i never felt insecure or worried about it. It was still earlyish... but we never had 'what we actually are' chat.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 October 2011): If you are having sex, then you definitely have a right to know if you are exclusive or not. Since he is only wanting to see you once to twice a week and keeping it at that, it's a sign this is as far as he wants it to go. It's really not a good sign you have to ask but you can't allow someone to waste your time either! After four months of him having access to you and your bed, he knows these questions are coming.
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A
female
reader, katiekate  +, writes (24 October 2011):
 I've been through this exact same scenario. I made the mistake of letting him have all the benefits of a girlfriend, including sex, but without the "girlfriend" title. Almost four months in, he dumped me, saying he wasn't looking for anything serious. After a few months, this guy should know if he wants you or not. I would bring it up, and if he wants to be exclusive, great! And if he doesn't, move on and let him waste someone else's time.
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