A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i think i should split up with my girlfriend. i wont go into details but shes been treating me bad and the relationship is really getting me down.the problem is i've never done the splitting up before. i've always been the one whose been dumped. iv thought about it a lot and i really do think this is what i need to do.but im scared i wont be strong enough to do it. we'v arranged to meet on thursday but im getting really worried about it. Does anyone have any tips on how i can stay strong and how i can mkae it easier for myself and after iv done it?i know i should think about the bad things but thats easy to do when im not with her. as soon as i see her im worried that i wont be strong enough and that i'l just carry on as if nothing is wrong. by the way, we're passed the talking about it stage, that didnt work. any help would be good. thanx.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2012): if she truly is treating you badly then you wouldn't have these doubts about not being able to break up with her or that. You wouldn't feel a strong urge to make things right and like they used to when she's around. There's something unsettled in your relationship in my opinion. Of course it won't be easy, it never is, but if you really do have doubts that you can be strong and break up with her, then maybe you're not entirely convinced you should split up with her in the first place. I know you might read this and think, "well she treats me badly, I'm going to break up with her because the relationship right now is going downhill". So just make sure that's what you truly believe, feel and want and tell yourself that over and over until you're entirely sure by Thursday. If you're not sure by then, I know you said you're passed talking about it, but if that's the case, I think that there's still a lot of unsettled things. Maybe breaking up will fix the problem but if there's doubts and regrets and feelings of being unsure about your decision, it'll hit you sooner or later anyway. It's best to talk things through completely even if you're inevitably going to breakup anyway. It's best to have a clean break then a fast, messy one. Good luck
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 October 2012): if she truly is treating you badly then you wouldn't have these doubts about not being able to break up with her or that. You wouldn't feel a strong urge to make things right and like they used to when she's around. There's something unsettled in your relationship in my opinion. Of course it won't be easy, it never is, but if you really do have doubts that you can be strong and break up with her, then maybe you're not entirely convinced you should split up with her in the first place. I know you might read this and think, "well she treats me badly, I'm going to break up with her because the relationship right now is going downhill". So just make sure that's what you truly believe, feel and want and tell yourself that over and over until you're entirely sure by Thursday. If you're not sure by then, I know you said you're passed talking about it, but if that's the case, I think that there's still a lot of unsettled things. Maybe breaking up will fix the problem but if there's doubts and regrets and feelings of being unsure about your decision, it'll hit you sooner or later anyway. It's best to talk things through completely even if you're inevitably going to breakup anyway. It's best to have a clean break then a fast, messy one. Good luck
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