A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:God, what do I do? Me and my ex boyfriend...God, we're so in love, I mean totally. The thought of him just makes me go all weak inside. We split up 6 months ago and we still feel the same about each other. We split up because he wasn't spending enough time with me and seems to prefer spending time with his mates, and putting them first before me. For God sake, this man is 30. He could never see my point. And we split a few times. Also, he's quite a joker, which I love, but sometimes he would take it too far and I wasn't sure if he meant it or not. And then I would doubt how he felt bout me. He's just recently contacted me asking to give him another chance. He says he now realises what shit he was to me and he can't say sorry enough! He said he went out with 2 other girls and he kept comparing me to them all the time. He didn't even sleep with them, which he swears on his kids lives. He has two children and I have one. We all got on like a little family. I just don't know what to do. Everyday since we split I thought about him and wished things would be different. I've been on other dates but no one even comes close. We did have something so special. He says since he's turned 30 he's realised so much about himself and can't believe he had his head so far up his own ass he couldn't see what he was doing to me and what he was like. My parents think he's not the settling down type and that I'm just going to end up wasting my time with him going nowhere. What do I do? I didn't have any contact with him for 6 months, changed my number, but I found out he'd rung and texted so many times in the 6 months to my old phone. I love him. And when I see him I just think, "You are so sexy." We have planned to meet for a chat and I have said that I will not take him back unless we set some rules and he's proved to me he's changed. Have I done the right thing? I'm so confused at what to do. Help.
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female
reader, guccigirl89  +, writes (13 March 2009):
First of all, you really have to sit down and think about what problems you have as well as the problems he has. Is he "really" the one to settle down with or is your relationship with him just a mental thing? You may think you have to be with him because of how you feel about him. But set your feelings aside and see if he's really for you and your lifestyle. Make him chase you a little. Don't just give in. String him along; if not, you'll look very weak and he will not respect you and he'll go back into his old patterns. When he goes out, plan a night out with your girls as well. Let him know that two can play that game and that you just don't sit up at home waiting for him. When you meet him for your chat stay strong! Set the rules and don't be too emotional, because he'll think you "have" to have him back. If you want to, give him the time to see if he's changed or not, but if he seems to be doing the same thing, PLEASE DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2009): If you love him then yes, you did the right thing. You dont want to spend the rest of your life wondering "what if...?" right? I am a firm believer that everyone deserves a second chance. Maybe he just needed that time away from you to realize what he wants. You know the old saying absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. Good luck to you, I have a feeling that this will all work out for you. Let me know how it went!
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