A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello! I'm 20 years old, right now i'm dating a guy that i've been crazy about him for a year. We've been seeing each other for like one month, and thing's are getting a little bit crazy. He is 28 year's old, I had sex with one person, one time, and I was 17 at the time, and right now, with this guy, who I really like, thing's are moving great, and I just don't know what to do. I want to have sex with him, but I'm scared, first because I'm 20 and he is 28, and I really don't know what he is doing with me, and then because I think he has lot's of experience with this kind of thing's and I'm not. He is really sweet and caring with me, but I keep thinking that he is going to disappear. Please help me, What do I do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (15 April 2011):
 big deal that he's 28 and your 20. if you care about him and he cares about you then just relax and enjoy.DO NOT however have sex with him to get him to stay with you... that never works.IF you want to have sex and he wants to and you are both safe about it (i.e. protect against pregnancy and STDs) then enjoy it.
A
female
reader, Drat001  +, writes (12 April 2011):
Don't ever have sex with somone to get them to do anything, especially to get them to stay. Never do that, never, never, never! It will only go badly for you.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (12 April 2011):
 if he disappears, then what? Does that mean you are not a lovable person? Your value does not depend on whether a guy wants a serious relationship with you or not. If he doesn't want it, you should think that there are other guys who would. If you ask him whether he cares about you or not, of course he will say yes. The important thing is to find out in between sex, does he still care for you. What else do you do with each other and how well do you connect on all levels?
There are people who criticize men who leave as bastards. Some feel that they want to see if sexual chemistry is right, because what's the point of staying in a relationship that doesn't satisfy. Also if the girl is frigid, or clingy or desperate, that's also going to kill the attraction. You can say to this guy that you feel afraid to expose yourself and then judged. At the same time realize that one person could feel attracted to you while the other doesn't. Although there are ways to bring out your natural femininity, that's a universal man magnet.
At the end, he should understand that you have reservations. If he doesn't want to wait at least he should ease your fears and find out how to do so. He will likely stay if you both enjoy the sex and you don't expect a serious long term relationship right away. In other words live in the moment and don't assume that sex has to necessarily lead to a relationship. If you can't accept that then you probably shouldn't have sex with him.
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