A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now and been in love with him. I thought I would never meet anyone like that again, but about 3 months ago I met one of his friends. At first I didnt think anything of his friend but after talking with him just a few times I realized I am crazy over him. Now my boyfriend gets mad if I even talk to another guy so his friend and I dont get much time to hang out without my boyfriend but if we do it is just amazing and I completely forget about my boyfriend. I dont know what to do. I try to avoid seeing this guy because I will get more attached but it is so hard because of the feelings I have. I love my boyfriend but since this new guy (his friend) stepped into my life things have changed. I dont know if I should give up my relationship of 2 years to someone I recently met or stick with it and hope to forget about his friend. Please help. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2007): I think guys value friendships possibly more than potential girlfriends and a relationship is very unlikely to result. Perhaps the romance has ended and you've sparked with this person, I think that spark doesn't last forever unless you proactively keep it in a relationship.
Think about what your life would be like without your current boyfriend, are you certain you don't love him anymore?
You have to be, because to go with his friend would cause him a massive amount of turmoil; my current boyfriends ex has been seeing his best friend from school for 6 months and he doesn't speak to either of them.
Tread extremely carefully, because you could stand to ruin 2 relationships and hurt someone you should care about.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): i have been in a similar postition and my advice is think about what might happen, in the future due to your actions. Realistically this friend probably isnt going to go out with you because you were with his friend for such a long time and if he is a good friend he wouldn`t go near you at all.
You also have no idea how this friend feels about u. If you did split with your bf and confronted him,the feeling may not be mutual.
Sorry if this is harsh but it is the reality.
I split with my bf because i fancied his best mate, me and my ex r still friends but i dont get to see the best mate anymore because he only came out with my bf. I also found out that the best mate has a gf so nothing is going to happen, even though i think he does fancy me.
Hope this advice helps
All the best
Xoxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I think that you are traveling in some dangerous territory. It's bad enough that you are catching feeling for another man but that man happens to be a friend of your boyfriend. Sometimes we cannot help the way we feel about people we encounter but we can control our actions. Just ask yourself these question and you will find your answer:
~ Do you really love your man?
~ Is it worth risking your relationship for this other guy. You could down the road find out that he's really an asshole.
~ If this other guy is sharing his feelings for you, what does that say about the kind of friend he is to your man?
~ Lastly, how would you feel if the shoe was on the other foot? Consider if this were your man having feelings for another woman and he is contemplating dumping you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 June 2007): I don't think you need to be with either man. You could not possibly be in love with your boyfriend of 2 years if you are infatuated with one of his friends....how hurt do you think he would be if he knew that...love is not just about feelings, it is a concious decision to be the right person, to make a commitment to another's happiness, and this is all about you.
You seem like a person who is afraid to be alone with herself, or you would not need to find another man before ditching the first....My guess is your relationship has run it's course, you are bored and looking for the rush you get in the beginning of a new relationship that is not at all about love, but about lust....
I think you might want to break it off with your boyfriend, and leave his friend alone because if he is any kind of a real friend to your boyfriend, he would not lay a hand on you....at least not until your relationship is completely and finally over and he has the blessing of his friend to date you.....in the meantime, spend sometime on your own, get your own life without a partner, and then you might be ready for a new relationship..rather than a rebound affair.
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