A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I need some advice, i have been with my boyfriend for a year and i dont know what to do. we have what you could say a healthy sex life as we have it every day, at least once but he is also into a lot of sexual fetishes which confuses me. he has a serious foot fetish where he likes to suck and lick my feet and he also wants me to give him foot jobs and i just dont get what he sees in feet. He also likes to give men oral but swears hes not gay as he dont fancy men and wont let a man touch him but he has asked me to join in and im not sure how i feel about that...Last but not least he wants me to give him a golden shower!! How am i supposed to cope with all this? I have said i will try these things as i dont really wanna upset him but i feel like im not good enough and if i mention it i feel guilty for its taken a lot of courage and trust for him to tell me these things as hes never told anyone before not even his exs, what do i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 September 2010): He has a right to ask, and shouldnt be made to feel stupid or strange...it did take a lot of courage and trust.
On the other hand just because he has been brave enough to express his fetishes does not mean that you have to fulfill them. If you want to try them, by all means go ahead. But do not feel bad or guilty if it is not for you. Trust him enough to say, i dont think that is for me.
True love means not forcing the other person to do things that they are not comfortable. And also not making them feel bad that they dont want to do them.
Sexual explorations should be mutual. Take it slow and see where it goes, stop it at any time you feel uncomfortable. good luck, mal
A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (6 September 2010):
 Generally, I say that if a fetish isn't going to physically harm you, result in infidelity, or go against your religion, then give it a try just once and see how it goes. So, for the foot and golden shower thing, maybe try them once (little weird, but not unheard of as far as fetishes go).
As for blowing other men, I can completely understand your trepidation. Seeing your man bring in a third wheel, doing something homosexual (and it is at least a 2 on the Kinsey scale), and him asking you to join in - all that seems pretty bad to me.
Be reasonable in your boundaries, but stand by them. You're not married, so he doesn't have to stay if he can't handle them.
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