A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I can't handle not knowing for sure anymore, am I bisexual or straight? I have been attracted to boys since I was 3, not in a sexual way obviously, and I am 17 turning 18 in a couple months now. I've never had feelings for girls, in a romantic way or even sexual in real life, but lesbian porn turns me on. I was like 12 when everything involving boobs would basically turn me on but at the same time I used to imagine myself having sex with a boy. I could never see myself in a relationship with a girl, and it's not because that's the society I was brought up in, telling everyone that it's wrong it's because I sit there and really think about it, but I can't imagine myself with one. I do get turned on by them sexually sometimes which is really confusing to me. I have a few types of anxiety, so I literally worry about this all day. I sat down and tried to really figure out for myself if I was lesbian or bi, and I didn't feel like I was but the term straight felt right. I'm just very confused and don't want to end up lesbian later on in life, I never worried about this before.Am I lesbian, bi or straight? Please help?!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 August 2015): It's okay to be attracted to the same sex sometimes and still be straight, which is what you sound like you're leaning towards...
It's also fine to change your mind, and 'switch teams' in the future!
I wouldn't stress out about it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): Experiment!
I know that sounds crazy, but I had exactly the same thing when I was 15, I found lesbian porn attractive, but I didn't know what I was.
I now know I am bisexual, as above I would say sixty/fourty. I ''prefer'' (for use of a better word) men, but I am also attracted to women.]
I understand the urge to have a label, but like me you're only young!
Try not to obsess, just enjoy finding who you are, this is one of the times in your life that will help shape who YOU are. :)
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 August 2015):
 Honey, this is the 5th post with this question, no one here has a crystal ball that will 100% LABEL you one thing or the other.
I know that it seems WAY more out there for young people to WANT to have a label for their sexual orientation, like banner. But there REALLY is no need to label yourself ANYTHING. IF you aren't sure, then you aren't sure.
If it concerns you as far as who/what/gender you should date, go by WHAT you FEEL about THAT person, be they female or male.
I don't think people "bingo" end up lesbians. I think they know early on that they ONLY sexually attracted to WOMEN. They might have hid it because they wanted a family or to fit in.
We don't really GET to choose what gender we are sexually attracted to.
I think Chigirl's explanation with the % makes a lot of sense.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (10 August 2015):
 Listen, you do NOT need to put yourself in a box. Nor do you need to know for all eternity who you will ever in your lifetime be attracted to. Whether it be gender, or a specific personality. These things we simply do not know, not any one of us. We meet someone, we end up falling for them, and NO ONE could predict it with certainty 10 years prior. Okay? No one can know for certain who they will be attracted to in the years to come. So there is no need for you to decide NOW who you are going to be attracted to in the years to come.
I get that it's confusing, but as soon as you embrace your sexuality, the better. Right now you're trying to confine it, restrain it, box it up. Don't do that, and you'll be much happier. Accept that you have some thoughts about both genders, and accept that you are ambiguous.
When you meet someone you like, and you fall in love, it will be a lot easier. Because then you can take a real standpoint: do I want to be in a relationship with this particular person, or not? Then and only then can you ask yourself this question. You can not answer a vague and general question of: do I ever want to be in a relationship with someone of this gender. Because that, you simply can not know.
I found it a lot easier to comprehend when I was told to think about it in percentages. That no one was born 100% heterosexual or homosexual, or 50-50 (bisexual to the dot). Instead, we are born with a fluctuating sexuality, that varies from person to person. Some are 80% heterosexual and 20% homosexual, and will only end up in heterosexual relationships, but can enjoy the other gender from time to time. Some are 70-30, others 60-40 etc.
If I use percentages, I would say I am 60-40 percent, and bisexual, because I have fallen in love with both girls and boys, and am sexually attracted to both, yet the majority of my crushes, and all of my relationships so far, have been with men (and this is by chance, not choice). So 60% heterosexual, and 40% homosexual.
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A
female
reader, anonem +, writes (10 August 2015):
 Ok let me explain this to you. I have a similar issue, I get turned on by women but I have always been attracted to guys. This also confused me too and made me feel like I was a lesbian. To be honest, I just think that is what turns you on. You're necessarily not a lesbian because boobs and ass turn you on. You'd be fine. Just be free and do not let this bother you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): Sexuality is fluid - you really don't *need* to know yet because your hormones are all over the place and nobody is 100% anything.
You need to get therapy for your anxiety; it's not good to sit and worry about something that, quite frankly, is small and insignificant (in the bigger picture).
Getting turned on by lesbian porn doesn't make you bisexual or gay. You may be, but that doesn't mean you are.
Why are you so against maybe being one later in life? You'll be whoever you were born to be - relax and maybe get therapy for the anxiety. I hope you don't think being a lesbian is wrong because that's not fair on people loving who they love, just like you will someday. Forcing them not to love who they love, would be like forcing you to be in a lesbian relationship, despite you being unhappy and uncomfortable.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 August 2015): http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-not-sure-if-i-am-straight-bisexual.html
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